Introducing myself as a fun ortensia can be quite amusing, and it's certainly enjoyable to explore this subject. I would like to begin by relating a story to you. Joe was strolling down the street one day when, suddenly, a loud crash startled him. He is being showered with shards of glass - ouch! Oh my goodness, blood! He squeezes it into a smaller size, and then quickly hurries back to his home. By the time he returns home, his blood has dried and the throbbing in his head is slowly fading away. Even though there's still a bit of pain, it doesn't stop him from being tough and pushing it out of his mind for an entire quarter-century. 25 years indeed. He experiences terrible headaches and vertigo, accompanied by an awful feeling, making it impossible for him to continue working. This leads him to seek medical attention. He visits the doctor, who performs an examination before inviting him back into his office. He enquires, "Joe, can you tell me when this occurred?" "What are you referring to?" Joe replies. "When were you shot?" At this, he responds with shock, "Shot?!" before adding, "Joe, there's a bullet in your head!" Incredibly, there are numerous tales of individuals who have bullets lodged in their head without even being aware of it. He is astounded as he contemplates the memory of shards of glass showering down on him that day. The doctor performs surgery to get rid of the bullet, and although it is expected that there will be pain and inflammation as part of the healing journey, eventually he recovers. He has a small scar remaining, but he is doing well and is back in the world again with amazement.
I'm informing you about Joe to illustrate the detrimental effect of staying in a toxic friendship, which can be likened to suffering from a gunshot wound. Had Joe heeded the warnings that were presented to him, he would have been able to dodge the bullet and live a much more fulfilling life. Signs of a toxic friendship can be identified ahead of time, so if you pay attention to them, it is possible to avoid the consequences that come with being in such a detrimental relationship. How do I know this to be true? Well, through my own experience of being in a tumultuous relationship due to my missteps. Friendships indeed hold a significant value in our lives, providing support, companionship, and shared experiences. However, sometimes friendships can become codependent, where one person becomes overly reliant on the other in an unhealthy way. Discovering that you are in a codependent relationship can be a realization that prompts you to take action to preserve your well-being and the health of the friendship. Remember, addressing codependency in a friendship may require effort, self-awareness, and open communication, but it can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and take steps to preserve your mental and emotional health.
So let me explain how this got underway. Living in New Hampshire can be quite hectic and unless you have young children, it is difficult to make connections with people. I encountered this woman and I was desperately craving companionship. We shared a bond right away too. Our eyes were filled with amazement. It was an incredible experience to be in a platonic relationship with a friend like that. We made the decision to spend time together, and it ended up being a great experience. We enjoyed similar activities, such as bringing things to life with our imaginations and exchanging jokes. Spending time together had always been a lot of fun; for a short period of time anyway. Gradually, the situation began to devolve. At the outset, there is a feeling of chemistry between two people; sometimes it is positive and other times not so much. If your chemistry with someone is off, it can have an explosive result. You cannot tell from the outset whether the chemistry between two people is positive or negative. Indeed, self-discovery and self-understanding are essential components of personal growth and well-being. It's important to be willing to explore and understand what lies at the core of your being, with an open heart and mind. Remember, self-discovery is a lifelong process, and it's okay to take your time and be patient with yourself. Embrace the journey with an open heart and mind, and be kind to yourself as you gain a deeper understanding of who you are at the core of your being.
I would like to give you some additional information about friendships. Studies have demonstrated that having strong social connections can lead to longer and healthier lives. Contrary to popular belief, research has shown that having a close friend can be even more beneficial than being with your spouse when it comes to recovering from health issues. Having a good friend helps us heal and do so quicker. When you have discovered a companion, you want to keep them close. In the blink of an eye, it was clear that we were BFFs, and in no time she started confiding in me about her other close companion with whom she was going for a swim. I was taken aback when she mentioned her other best friend; it felt like a bit of a blow. She suddenly gave me her opinion, telling me, "You know, you really shouldn't ..."; followed by a barrage of criticism afterwards. She'd continually reiterate, "It's essential that you make a change." Despite not asking me for my opinion on the matter. After that, we had extensive conversations, during which I began to take a step back since she informed me that I needed to make some alterations. I donned my psychologist hat and thought to myself, "Right, I'll look after her and really pay attention to what she has to say." Once she had finished explaining the problem to me, she would then tell me, "Alright, I need to be going now." I stepped away from her, no longer revealing my identity, withdrawing from the conversation. I was tiptoeing around carefully in this so-called friendship of ours.
Do you understand the feeling of being extremely cautious, as if one wrong move would cause everything to break apart? It is not possible to sustain a healthy relationship if you are constantly tip-toeing around. My self-esteem would be high when she was in a positive frame of mind, but would plummet when she was feeling down. I was starting to become quite obsessive compulsive, for example, constantly questioning if I should call her or if she would call me. When you become overly invested and addicted to something, it is a warning sign that something is not right. But unfortunately, I did not even stop and consider intervening with myself. My self-esteem was fluctuating big time. I was feeling unwell; I had a headache and was otherwise very stressed. Here I was, putting in 16 hours of work each day, yet for half of the time my mind was elsewhere, preoccupied with thoughts of what was happening in my relationship. Needless to say, I'm sorry to have learned that my journey of self-discovery has culminated in a devastating blow. Experiencing setbacks or challenges along the way is a common part of the process, and it can be difficult to navigate. But remember, setbacks are a part of life, and it's important to be patient with yourself as you navigate through them. With time, self-care, and support, you can gradually heal and find new ways to move forward from the devastating blow you've experienced.
One day, she phoned me while I was 10 minutes away from giving an online presentation to the coaches that I managed. She says to him, "It's obvious you haven't changed. That's it. We're finished." Immediately she ends the call and hangs up. I begin to text her as a result. Just what exactly was going on? I need to enter a supervising session. No response to my text message made me understand that our relationship really did come to an end. I emphasized to you the great significance of friendship in regards to a long life, joyfulness, and the overall standard of living. Have you come to terms with the fact that there is no training available which would enable one to become a friend counselor or friend therapist? From marriage counseling to executive-leadership coaching, there are a variety of therapeutic and support services available including family therapy and individual therapy. It's unbelievable that there isn't a program anywhere to foster the development of friendship, which is so important. The next thing I knew, I conducted the webinar in an almost automated manner, and I found myself wondering, "What should my next step be?" If you tell people, "My friend just broke my heart," what will they say? Most likely, it'll be something like, "It's only a friend. Cheer up!" But my heart has been shattered! How can I possibly get over this? Okay, what would I do for someone coming to me?
I would start by encouraging myself to acknowledge and accept any emotions that come up. You don't want to take it in and keep it inside of you, as that will only cause a buildup of tension which can eventually lead to an explosive outburst. We can cause ourselves to become ill due to the sadness and anger we feel, correct? I kept going back and forth between the stairs, up and down. I yelled out of my anger and indignation. Tears streaming down my face, I asked myself in anguish, "What went wrong? She was such a close companion." At one point, I became so overwhelmed with emotion that I sank down onto the stairs and let out a flood of tears. Afterwards, I thought to myself, "Well, she acted in an inconsiderate manner." And of course, I had been the same way. It is essential to identify a solution so that this situation does not repeat itself. I resorted to my strong suit and began writing. I began to compose. I thought that by writing out my emotions and ideas about the situation, I would be able to come to some sort of understanding. Gaining clarity and understanding my role in the situation was an important step in the process of self-discovery and personal growth. It took courage and self-reflection to gain insights into my actions and behaviors that were to be done.
One morning, I woke up and as I was getting ready to go out, I caught my reflection in the mirror. It suddenly struck me that I should make being my own best friend a priority from that day forward. The other me, gazing back at me, asked incredulously, "Really?" To which I replied, "Yeah, what do you propose we do today?" I began engaging in activities that I would normally have done with a companion, but instead chose to do them alone with just my best friend being myself. Myself and I were doing a lot of things together - painting, going for a walk, having dinner out, watching movies at the theater, and generally having a great time. As I was treating myself with more kindness and self-love, I began to feel better and better about myself. As my love for myself deepened, the strangest thing occurred - other people started to come into my life. I was my own greatest supporter, and so I had more than enough love to give to other people. It was no longer a hopeless situation with only one person involved. I was completely blown away by the experience, and now I have a lot of acquaintances. It's wonderful to know that my new friendships were amazing and lacked a sense of desperation. But it just goes to show you, healthy and fulfilling friendships are an important part of our lives and can contribute positively to our well-being. It's important to cultivate and nurture healthy friendships in our lives, as they can bring joy, support, and fulfillment. If you feel that your friendships lack these characteristics or if you have concerns about the health of your friendships, it's important to communicate openly with your friends and seek support from trusted individuals or professionals. Remember, healthy friendships are based on mutual respect, trust, communication, and support, and they can greatly contribute to our overall well-being.
Thus, when I discuss this topic, many people come forward to share that they have experienced something similar. I was incredulous upon hearing their stories. I questioned them further, "How long ago did this take place?" The responses were various: 10, 20 and even 30 years ago. Astonishingly, they still possess the bullet that has been lodged in their head all these years without extraction. It is clear that many people have experienced the pain of a toxic friendship or had one in the past, as I have heard this from so many sources. Therefore, I am sure this resonates with those listening to this. I would like to suggest that you express your feelings as well. It is commonly said that when searching for a friend, two balanced and complete individuals are the best ones to have. However, there is no such thing as an absolute truth in this regard. I'm suggesting that you take the time to locate someone that you genuinely care for and love, even if they have their own imperfections. Two people who recognize each other's faults, and even find those imperfections endearing, make great friends. A really great friend is like a good egg that has been slightly cracked open. Anyway, self-acceptance is a lifelong journey that requires practice and self-awareness. It's okay to have moments of self-doubt or self-criticism, but cultivating self-acceptance can help us develop a healthier relationship with ourselves and others. It's important to be kind, patient, and compassionate towards ourselves as we embrace self-acceptance and celebrate our uniqueness and inherent worth.
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/