I absolutely enjoy the experience of being among trees; the smells, filtered light, and muffled sounds always delight me. The birds singing is music to my ears and I find joy in noticing animal tracks as well as discovering hidden spaces within a wooded area. Trees are the symbols of everywhere we look in these times of the Information Age, blocking our destinations from view. Nonetheless, there is one issue that remains - if trees be the characteristics of this era, then in effect we are all simply wandering within a forest. For those who thirst for knowledge, the present age is a golden opportunity; however, without understanding the wider context in which facts are understood, it can be easy to become lost and disconnected from the true value of one’s discoveries. Once I entered the mountain forests, my first thought was (bittersweetly) to find someplace with a great view - a viewpoint from which I could appreciate the beauty of nature and gain an understanding of my surroundings. Hiking in such places has always been something that still brings me joy.
As a theorist, teacher, therapist, parent and grandparent, I often ponder my own life's story and what it means for me. My longing has been to step back and focus on the big picture instead of getting bogged down in the details. It has been my yearning, my overriding ambition not to allow these details to obstruct me from seeing the larger context. Relationship matters: I believe this would revolutionize our school system, transform our daycare systems, and restore natural intuition to parenting. In other words, if more widely known, it could have a powerful effect on our educational systems and the way families raise children. We crave and feel the sting of togetherness, as attachment is our nature. Without it, we can experience a longing that cannot be fulfilled. No matter the situation, maintaining a connection and support with those close to us is one of the most important needs; when that bond is threatened by distance or losing touch, it can be very stressful. The learning process is most effectively achieved in a relationship-oriented context; this is because such an environment facilitates natural and organic growth. Parenting can become easier, therapy can be effective and wellbeing is a possibility. With the right steps, it is certainly possible to make progress in all of these areas. Raising children to their full potential means providing them with the right context in which they can learn and grow. This includes giving them a supportive and nurturing environment, where they can explore and develop their skills and capacities.
The two mothers had asked me to help care for their infants, and I eagerly accepted. However, my experiences were vastly different for each: one was wonderfully welcoming, but the other completely repelled me! This humbling experience among our grandchildren will be one that I never forget. Despite my best efforts to provide care, my grandson resisted closeting himself with me and ended up sabotaging my attempts. This ultimately caused him more stress than it relieved, making matters worse instead of better. The same credentials, skillset and role that I had with one grandson were not a deciding factor for success in my relationship with the other. Despite being the same person in the end, it was still a completely different experience. It didn't matter how much I had been educated, trained, or even written a book - none of this mattered for my grandson when it came to being taken care of by me. Even though I loved him with my whole heart, he didn't feel it was right for his grandfather to provide the care he needed. He did not feel a strong enough connection with me, leaving him unable to accept my kindness and care. I tried to do my job, but I felt stymied because I didn't have his heart. Basically, without the ability to connect emotionally, I wasn't able to do what was asked of me.
We weren’t equipped to handle children, let alone our teenagers, since their hearts were not ours. Taking care of them was never our destiny. When our relationship with others is not in balance, their instinctive reaction is to be resistant, oppose us, or even avoid us. We cannot make them feel "at home" with us; our comfort is not the source of their instinctive behavior. They lack the necessary instincts to be truly satisfied with us. Parenting is a demanding profession and it can often feel like an uphill battle. Parenting peers-oriented children can be particularly challenging, and of all the groups, foster children present some of the most complex issues. Relationships are key when it comes to successful parenting. When the relationship between parent and child is strong, parenting works. However, when the relationship is strained or absent, parenting does not work as well. Ultimately, making sense of the connection between parents and their children requires understanding of the nuances of relationships. Parenting has been around for thousands of years, though we may never have fully known what the best approach was.
Yesterday's parents had an understanding that is no longer commonplace; their children held a deep admiration for them. This appreciation was something that could not be taken for granted. Yesterday's culture accomplished its mandate to bind children to their parents and caregivers; however, sadly our own modern culture primarily serves the dollar instead of the relationship. Despite having access to thousands of books, Google searches and more experts on the subject than ever before, parenting is becoming increasingly more difficult. Raising children today comes with immense pressure and confusion; so much so, that many are searching for answers in the wrong places. This is due to a lack of necessary context within which to equip them for facing life’s challenges. Rather than asking "What can I do?", you should ask yourself how you could be the answer to this child’s relational needs. Rather than trying to come up with an instant solution when trouble arises, we are seeking advice on how to handle difficult situations. Instead of attempting to be the answer for all things that go wrong, we are searching for ways to maintain connections during times of hardship. If the relationship is to remain a priority, we must then be proactive in safeguarding it. Being mindful of our behavior and actions is essential for preserving the connection we share. Before going any further, it's essential to engage their attachment instincts so that we can ensure success.
In the industrialized age, our relationship with children is more crucial than our role in working with them. We must put greater importance on building a connection and understanding between ourselves and the children we interact with. Believing that knowledge is power is a misconception when it comes to parenting and teaching. In actuality, knowledge alone does not provide the necessary skills for this purpose; other skills are required, such as the ability to nurture and motivate. Also, this natural power of ours is derived solely from their connection with us, for this is the ultimate source. Relationship is very important to foster children's growth, not just because it makes them more cooperative, but because building healthy relationships is part of the natural process of maturation. The womb of a mother provides a vital environment for the growth and development of an unborn fetus. Similarly, the child's relationship to a caring adult offers a psychological type of womb where, with safe and nurturing conditions, growth and maturation can occur. When we take initiative to provide the supportive relationships they seek, they're eager for us to be companions, peers and an integral part of their lives. They want our participation in activities and to be welcomed into their inner circles. Growing our children up and helping them become their own person is a job that comes naturally in the developmental process. As they mature, they begin to stand on their own two feet and interact with others as unique individuals. "Mummy," our five-year-old son once said, "when you hold me like that, it gives me a feeling of wanting to fly." The emotions he expressed in those words revealed the dynamics between us parents and our children. Nature has been forgotten in the debate of parenting and teaching, though it is essential to the growth of our children. The role of nature is still very important and should not be overshadowed by details of parenting and teaching. Our main task is to provide a nurturing and supportive environment which will foster growth in both ourselves and our children - something that no one person can achieve. We can strive to create meaningful connections, which in turn will help nature foster and develop those relationships.
Schools must also remember the implications of the explosion of detail: they need to ensure students retain critical aspects of their education, prioritize learning critical skills and productivity, as well as leverage technology effectively to ensure maximum benefit. School readiness is a crucial developmental construct that otherwise seems to have been overlooked. It is incredibly important and must be taken into consideration. Children bring a sense of curiosity, agency and an eagerness to learn from mistakes to school. This allows them to think and feel with patience and temperament, broadening their knowledge of the world around them. Attributes such as patience, understanding, and kindness are not inherited genetically, nor are they taught. They are the result of true maturation that comes from having meaningful relationships. School readiness is largely dependent upon the amount of maturation that has occurred in the home environment; in other words, how much growth and development has taken place within the family unit plays a significant part in a child's aptitude to enter and succeed in their education. We've seen tremendous progress in terms of curriculum, pedagogy and technology; however, our students and teachers aren't necessarily better-trained than before. Despite this, teaching is increasingly demanding for those who have been around for some time. Given that children learn more informally in their first four years of life than with all the formal education they will receive combined, and evidence suggests home-tutored children do better academically than those at school, it is clear that a good early childhood is a most crucial time for learning. Relationships are the key to understanding this situation. There is no alternate explanation; the importance of relationships is paramount in explaining this phenomenon.
If teachable children were being delivered to doors, schools wouldn't be facing so much difficulty. And by "teachable" I mean students who are both ready and eager to learn from people whom they aren't familiar with. Schools lose out when parents do not have the context in which to raise their children in the most teachable manner. If this context was available, they would be able to provide schools with more teachable children coming through their doors. The lack of face-to-face interaction between students and teachers has had a devastating effect. But even if there was a commonly accepted culture for such relationships, it too has been hit hard in our society, making the blow even more severe. Increasingly, there are many children being left behind when it comes to forming meaningful educational attachments. They are struggling as a result of not receiving the necessary guidance, support and engagement that would foster their growth. These children have become stuck in their current situation with no end or resolution in sight. No matter their age, nurturing an attachment with teachers is important even for immature students to maximize their learning potential. Learning is an outcome of attachment; we attend to those to whom we are connected, imitate their speech, take on their form and adopt their values. Furthermore, we are open to be influenced by the people to whom we are attached. The skill, education, training, pedagogical approach and technology of the teacher don't matter too much when it comes to teaching. The phenomenon of student-teacher relationships being beneficial is not novel, as it has been observed in children, adults and people of all ages attending school. It is nothing to be surprised by, given the research conducted on student-teacher relationships and its benefits for students in both preschools and universities. With the abundance of information on teaching methodology and leveraging modern technology in education, it is easy to lose sight of the overall goal: to ensure students are receiving a quality educational experience.
As Socrates especially could see the perspective, due to his vision not being blinded by all the complexities of today, it seems that this clarity of sight may be the reason why. Ultimately though, we still have to grapple with these details. Socrates was once asked about why his Socratic method had not produced the desired results in a particular student. To this, he is said to have replied that "I couldn't teach them, as they didn't love me". In other words, relationships mattered most even back then and they still do now. The master teacher might possess the secret for gaining access to the minds of their student; and the simple, but profound truth is that we must have their hearts in order not to lose the importance of all the details. I believe that on some level we all comprehend the same idea as Socrates did: That understanding can be found through asking questions, and being open to new ideas. At the start of school in September, we anxiously wait for only one thing: Does our child like the teacher and think that the teacher likes them back? We are not interested in other aspects such as the teacher's qualifications, pedagogical approach, teaching style, curriculum or technology being used. Intuition tells us that nothing else matters more in the learning process than the concept of relevant connection. This is something we recognize and prioritize, and without a doubt, it has proven to be true.
However, while teaching is traditionally associated with school, learning for the immature most often occurs within relationships; however, these two contexts have become separated in our society. In order to move forward we must reunite them. Developing a culture of student-teacher relationships is essential in order to create a learning environment that encourages student success. We must place an emphasis on building connections and fostering communication between teachers and students. Doing so will enable us to create an atmosphere where students can thrive and succeed. It is not the actions we take as teachers, but rather our attitude and presence around our students that matters the most in making an impact. We must not forget this as we progress in our teaching journey. Many parents and teachers intuitively recognize that relationships are the key to teaching children. They understand that fostering strong, respectful bonds between them and their students will help to create an effective learning environment. By establishing trust, collaboration, and communication with their students, parents and teachers can encourage a positive learning experience for everyone involved. Our world has changed and intuitive understanding of culture is no longer sufficient. The relationships necessary for a child's growth and development are not being formed in the same way that they once were. This knowledge needs to go beyond just being "stuck" at an intuitive level for it to be truly effective.
Words are essential to us now more than ever. They give us the power to modify regulations and methods. With them, our courage grows to resist popular opinions that threaten our beliefs. But when we lack words, we fall into doubt and falter in finding our direction in life. fall into doubt and falter in finding our direction in life. When we join the details and gain perspective, an emerging picture becomes clear, requiring words that both reflect this age of science and connect to our innate understanding. I hope to contribute with such words - true, meaningful and resonant. Relationships can be revitalized, no matter how long it has been since things changed. There is still hope; always something that we can do to improve our connections. Nothing will prevent us from fully extending our invitation to them; we owe it all to getting the message across effectively. We want them to understand that they are truly welcome in our presence. We can afford to relax a bit if we keep our focus on this problem in this manner, which will then help guide our actions. The big picture is what matters here; its truth transcends any minute details. Consequently, we should not invest too much of our energy or attention on lesser issues that lack the bigger significance. Children depend on us to provide them with direction and guidance, so it is important to remember who we are when interacting with them. There is no need to question ourselves; the most crucial thing is to be the role models our children need. Thank you for giving me this chance to explain the important things that I have experienced, even if some of the details weren't always clear.
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/