I'm 12, and when I look in the mirror, I see a huge, pus-filled pimple on my nose that looks like it is about to burst. What shall I do? It's 8:53 a.m., and the bus is arriving in only two minutes! I frantically start to wash my face - no time for vanity. Unfortunately, the dreaded pimple decided to burst at this moment and blood starts leaking from the side of my nose like molten lava erupting from a volcano. I quickly run out the door, hop on the bus, and realize that all of the kids are staring at me because of my nose. I feel embarrassed and try to make myself invisible as I slide into a seat, curling up in a ball. A band-aid is to blame for this uncomfortable situation, even though I got it out to cover myself up. Trying my best to blend in and feel accepted, I often felt like an outsider. While attempting to conceal my true self, this feeling of isolation was a regular occurrence for me every time I left home. Despite wanting flawless skin so badly, I was still very far from achieving it. At the age of eight, I experienced a disruption in my once perfect complexion. Pimples, acne scars and blackheads appeared to mark my face. It was the first time that such blemishes had ever revealed themselves on my skin. I felt overwhelmed with anxiety, knowing that my perfect piece was gradually diminishing each day. I knew I had to do anything and everything in my power to restore it back to its original state of perfection. I couldn't bring myself to meet the gaze; the ugliness of the reflection in the mirror was too much for me.
As a teenager, I felt self-conscious about getting called "pizza face". I worried that people were making fun of my complexion and lack of beauty, and these thoughts lingered in my mind. Will teachers want to call on me in class? What about that cute boy who sits behind me in chemistry? Will he notice the scars on my face when I turn around to ask him for his homework? My parents and I embarked on an ambitious mission to find a remedy for my skin issues, and we didn't hesitate to invest a considerable amount of money - over 20 thousand dollars - in various skincare treatments as well. I tried practically everything to improve my skin, from high-end products to drugstore items. I sought advice from multiple medical professionals, including doctors, surgeons and dermatologists. Additionally, I consumed medications pills with prescription and Chinese herbs. Once I tried each new product, thoughts of how my life could be different with perfect skin flooded my mind, accompanied by the phrase "Daisy, this is the bottle of perfection." Unfortunately, the more products I tried, the worse my skin became - straying far away from the images that I had envisioned.
We often find ourselves facing a hard dilemma - struggling to remain true to ourselves while adhering to the expectations of the external world. My story is unfortunately, a not singular one either. It is a never-ending tragedy that our generation relentlessly strives for perfection, and unfortunately my story is neither the first nor the last. It is an ongoing, vicious cycle of trying to reach an unobtainable level of excellence. Much of the nine hours a day average teenagers spend in front of their screens is devoted to social media, and with it comes the alluring idea that everyone around them is living out a perfect life. The endless barrage of highlight reels creates an illusion nearly impossible to escape. This generation is constantly searching for validation on their screens, often using the number of followers as a basic measure of their self-worth. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have reported a startling 70% increase in suicides for the period of 2006-2016. The American Psychology Association has determined that those under the age of 26 are suffering from higher levels of anxiety, depression and suicide compared to their generational predecessors. These rates have reached a record-breaking high. Dr. Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University professor, asserts that striving for perfection, like cellphone usage, has been a significant contributor to the worst mental health crisis our present generation iGen has faced in many decades - an assertion that is not an exaggeration whatsoever. The push for perfection is immense and should be kept in check. The momentum for striving for excellence should be kept in balance with self-care and acceptance of our limitations. The greatest tragedy wasn't my seemingly perfect skin but my relentless pursuit of perfection. Every waking thought was taken up with achieving this, and it caused me to miss out on experiences such as lunchtimes in the cafeteria or attending homecoming dances. I lost who I really was in my striving for a faulty ideal.
It's a Saturday night and I, aged 22 and having recently graduated from college, feel incredibly lonely; my skin is in its absolute worst condition. Despite this, I'm tired of hiding away - does anyone out there want to talk? I open up my laptop, press record and start to talk for 12 minutes, revealing how I really feel about my skin. No makeup on, dressed in PJs and the lighting not ideal; this is me at my imperfect best. I'm saving my file, which I have named "Growing Up Ugly.MOV", and intend to store it on the cloud, specifically YouTube. For extra security, I'm choosing a username no one will ever be able to guess or spell - daiserz89. I just click the publish button and suddenly feel a rush of panic as I think to myself, "What have I done!? Is anyone going to see this video?" I received an email notification indicating that someone has recently viewed my video a few weeks later. I receive yet another notification - this one stating that someone "liked" my video. Someone has commented on my video, and I've received another notification about it. People all of a sudden are expressing to me the immense impact and relevance my video has had on their lives. This was the first time I embraced my true self and let go of any attempts to conceal or disguise who I was. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I still chose to share my true self with others. Surprisingly enough, they accepted me just the same and even showed their love for it. This channel has grown to incredible heights, boasting over 700 videos and garnering more than 70 million views. As CEO and founder of a vastly successful skincare company, I am proud to boast hundreds of thousands in customers throughout the world and over 15 hardworking employees. Our multi-million dollar business is changing the beauty industry, one customer at a time. If it weren't for me taking the plunge to confront my perfectionism and uploading that video on daiserz89 on a Saturday night, I wouldn't have been offered a chance to start my own company, nor would I have followed through to pursue selling skincare as my career in the first place.
Across our society, we grapple with perfection and the impulse to hide our true selves. The problem has become all too common, amounting to much more than we may realize. A moment came when I was confronted with an issue that I didn't feel comfortable going along with, yet I still chose to do so. Last Thursday, despite having a brilliant idea that needed to be shared, you also could have decided to keep it in and hold it back instead of presenting it at the meeting. We must have the courage to not only discover who we are but also be brave enough to share that with others in order to make it to the other side. Life may present difficult challenges and one of the most difficult may be to say goodbye to being perfect. It can be one of the toughest tasks we have to undergo. Yes, it is quite complex as uploading a video onto YouTube is that simple. Staying true to our authentic selves is essential and I'm here to give you three practical tips on how we can work towards achieving this. Tip number one: Spend some time by yourself. When we are by ourselves, we can gain insight into our authentic selves. Spending time alone gives us an opportunity to reflect and get to know who we really are. We are often too easily swayed by outside influences such as family, friends and the wider society. Being alone can be daunting because it implies being comfortable with your own inner thoughts and emotions without any external distractions. Traveling alone is something I deeply cherish. From a solo excursion to a far away destination like Europe, to making an adventure closer to home - there is something special about being on my own and having the freedom of thought that comes with it. The last time I experienced intense boredom was so mind-numbing. Let's take it slow and plan out several 30 minute chunks of time during the week that are devoted solely to sitting, reflecting, and pondering on things. If you don't have 30 minutes for us to spend together, that's okay. What about 15 or even 5 minutes? I understand we're always busy and it might not be possible for long blocks of time - but I'd still love us to spend a bit of time with ourselves. Learning to be comfortable with one's own thoughts is an important and beneficial step for personal development. This can lead to a greater sense of inner peace and confidence.
Tip number two: Surrender your social media platforms. With the rapidly changing digital world, it is important to take a step back and ensure that our personal information, as well as our activities online, remain secure. It may become necessary to surrender or delete social media accounts if there are any security concerns. Spending less time on social media can be quite a challenge, despite the common advice to "get off" of it. In part due to efforts by the world's top computer programmers constantly trying new ways to make us more and more addicted. I'm challenging you to post something vulnerable - not part of your highlight reel. Share something that makes you feel exposed and authentic. By vulnerably connecting with those around us through posts, we are able to foster a deeper sense of understanding and connection. The posts that garner the most engagement on my company's Instagram are those that display an authentic and vulnerable side. Social media can be overwhelming, and that's okay. It's not necessary to always share your highlights on social media; it's just as important to talk about the lesser-known aspects of your life. Taking a break is an acceptable way to manage that pressure if it becomes too much! This holiday season, my feelings of extreme anxiety stemmed from scrolling through countless images of people having 'perfect' Christmas celebrations with their perfect in-season outfits, vacations and trees. I removed Instagram from my phone, so I now no longer have access to it. At first, it felt strange because I was wondering: What am I supposed to do? How do I scroll up now? As soon as I stopped worrying about documenting every moment, my anxiety disappeared and I enjoyed my entire holiday season. Don't worry, you won't miss out on anything!
Tip number three: We must be courageous to take the chances that come with exhibiting our true selves. Being brave is necessary in order for us to gain the rewards which sharing who we are can bring. Writing, dancing, singing and reading; these are some ways to express yourself. Pick up a book even or find your voice to dance and sing - get creative! We put more emphasis on creativity as opposed to trying to receive external judgement for our efforts. Thus, we focus not on conforming norms, but rather in exploring our creative potential. The moment you get lost in your craft, all time seems to have come to a standstill. You’re so deeply engaged that it feels like the flow of time has paused. The other day, at a coffee shop, I was editing a video for nine hours and my cold, untouched order was still there. Just as I was finishing up, the staff came to tell me they were closing shop for the night. We need to be brave in order to access a flow-like state; bravery needs to be thought of as a muscle that must be exercised. To do this, we need to take risks, challenge ourselves, and remain open-minded. Soon, with enough practice, even the seemingly impossible can become second nature. Instead of taking a heroic act of courage, start by practicing being your true self - say what you mean in a meeting or reach out to that friend you’ve been putting off for a year and have that difficult conversation. Facing my fears, I mustered up the courage to make this talk happen; pushing my boundaries and stretching my bravery muscle. I have practiced this by pressing the publish button when submitting this application. Without those small brave steps, I wouldn't be standing here in front of you today on this stage. Struggling for perfection can be unfulfilling; a life striving to reach such a goal often leads to dissatisfaction. But once we're able to be true and honest with ourselves, fearlessly embracing our individual identity, then we can live authentically. We must separate from society's pressures and learn how to trust our own path. This is the key to living a life that truly belongs to us. When reflecting upon life's regrets, many patients on their deathbeds will express the same sentiment: they wished they had lived authentically instead of succumbing to the expectations of others. Let's go out there and live our most authentic life, together! I invite you to join me. Thank you for your RSVPs as well!
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/