One of my Facebook friends has a seemingly perfect life: everything appears ideal and without any difficulties. She resides in a beautiful abode which is a sight to behold. Through being in a prosperous career, she has found exceptional success. What began as a passion-driven endeavor has become a highly rewarding job that allows her to manifest her aspirations and love the work she does. At the weekends, the family goes on thrilling explorations together – it's always an adventure. She loves getting to experience novel thrills with her loved ones. No matter where the family goes or what activities they choose, a professional photographer must be included in the plans - for the simple reason that everyone in the family looks stunningly attractive! She is also always expressing her gratitude for her life, and telling everyone about how fortunate she feels. She takes a lot of pride in being so blessed. She seems to truly mean it when she posts compliments on her Facebook page - not just out of politeness. Though, how many of you have a friend that sometimes causes you to have mixed feelings and may be difficult to get along with? And how many of you find yourself not always enjoying their company? Our bad habits come at a price. Today, let's discuss what it may be and how to start helping ourselves break these habits. We often take our unhealthy behaviors for granted and it is easy to do so, but we need to realize that this type of thinking can actually be detrimental.
Rolling your eyes through your Facebook feed even for five seconds can have potentially negative impacts. Specifically, researchers found that envy of friends on the site actually leads to depression. So don’t dismiss such reactions as meaningless – this response can have tangible effects on mental health. Have you ever found yourself complaining about your boss or looking enviously on your friends' "luck"? Our minds are capable of falling into such traps where we can be ungrateful and discontented due to our limited perspective. Thinking small in the moment may provide comfort, but ironically, it can also be diminishing your mental power. That is because this way of thinking is eroding away at your mental strength over time. Unhealthy beliefs about ourselves can be destructive and have a negative effect on our capabilities, resilience, and overall wellbeing. They stem from us often feeling sorry for ourselves when something bad happens. Unfortunately, this tends to go beyond just being sad - it keeps us from embracing our full potential. Misery magnifying is when you start dwelling on your negative experiences, asking questions like: "Why do these issues seem to always plague me?" Feeling frustrated and resentful of having to console with your unfortunate circumstances - as if this is uniquely unfair to you. When you focus on the problem, it keeps you stuck and unable to find a solution. However, even if a solution cannot be created, steps can still be taken to improve your life or someone else's life. Avoid throwing your own pity party since this will only prevent progress from being made. We still tend to have unhealthy opinions of others which end up suppressing us into a cycle of powerlessness. This obstructs our identity as full-on adults living in an environment filled with personal choices, accepting that there's little life can impose on us. Working late may have consequences, but it's still our choice. When it comes to our mother-in-law, it's up to us how we respond to her; not because she is the nicest person on earth, but because we are in control. We tend to think that success is something that should simply be handed to us if we put in enough hard work: an unhealthy belief about the world. This mentality of expecting life's rewards, however, can be disheartening as the universe may not always reward our efforts to such an extreme. Giving up our bad mental habits is not easy, but it's essential to get rid of these unhealthy beliefs that have been engraved in our minds for a long time. You must do this now, for in the future you'll need all the mental fortitude possible!
At the age of 23, I was convinced my life was figured out; I had completed grad school, gotten a fantastic job as a therapist and even tied the knot. Buying a house? Yeah that too! Somehow this perfect start to success couldn't possibly derail - or so I assumed at the time. But then within 24 hours, something extraordinary, unforeseen even, had happened; my mother, who is usually known for always starting her days with great enthusiasm, had passed away. And it all started on the day when I got a phone call from my sister informing me that our mother was unresponsive and hospitalized for a brain aneurysm. The devastating news about my mother severely affected me. Having been extremely close to her, going through grief was rather difficult for me- intellectually rationalizing the process being much easier than actually experiencing it. Consequently, it took quite some time before I could make headway in recovering from the trauma. On the three year anniversary of my mother's passing, I had been uncertain whether I wanted to revisit the auditorium where our final goodbye had taken place - but my friends, who sensed my trepidation and tried to cheer me up, invited Lincoln and I to a basketball game at the very same location. On that drive home, Lincoln and I discussed how great it was to honor my mother's memory by returning to the game. Instead of feeling sad, we had a really good time with our friends. We had initially debated about if going back would be the best option, but ultimately we still decided to do so.
Then we arrived home that evening and soon after, Lincoln said he wasn't feeling well. Before long, he collapsed. I called for an ambulance as soon as possible and his family promptly joined me at the emergency room. We nervously waited what seemed like an eternity until a doctor finally emerged. When the gentleman brought us back to a private room, he started explaining that the most adventurous person we'd ever known, Lincoln, had a sudden heart attack and had passed away. His shocking and unexpected life event left us in disbelief as he was only 26 years old with no prior health diagnoses. I feel overwhelmed as I am already a 26-year-old widow without my mom to support me during this difficult time. Losing her has had an immense impact on my emotional wellbeing, making the process of grieving so agonizing that it feels like an understatement to underline its emotional toll. Throughout those troubling times, I realized that good habits alone weren’t enough—even small practices could hold me back. So I dedicated myself to not just putting in positive routines, but removing bad characteristics too. I held a steady hope that eventually life would improve; and it eventually did!
A man named Steve and I fell in love a few years down the road which ended up leading to us getting remarried. We sold Lincoln's and my house and bought a brand new one in another area, simultaneously embarking on my journey of securing a new job in the process. I felt relieved to have a new beginning, yet not soon after, we received the shocking news that Steve's dad was seriously ill with terminal cancer. It made me question why such unfortunate events keep occurring and why I always have to face the loss of all of my loved ones. It felt so unjust. I firmly believed that if I wanted to move forward and handle the upcoming loss, I would have to be mentally strong. Through past experiences, I had learnt that weak-mindedness can but hinder progress. Therefore, building up my mental resilience was imperative for me if I were to survive this next tough trial. Writing up a list of all the things mentally strong people don't do served as an eye-opener for me. It reinforced the truth of how my negative behavior could have impeded my growth. Thankfully, I took special care in revising it frequently, especially after Steve's father passed away only a few weeks later.
Mental strength, just like physical strength, requires dedication in order to achieve positive results on this journey of ours. To develop it, one needs to invest effort and break their bad habits. Likewise, if one wants operational physical strength attending the gym and performing exercises is important, but giving up unhealthy habits such as eating junk food is also essential. Mental strength can be achieved by practicing certain habits, like being grateful and giving up destructive blights such as envying another's success. For example, no matter how frequent that emotion is to occur, allowing it to take the wheel will bear ill outcome in the progress toward bolstering mental strength. To change our current mentality, we need to replace any unhealthy beliefs that we may have with healthier ones. This begins by dismissing the bad mental habits that we possess and must be done in order to think differently. Avoiding uncomfortable feelings like sadness, hurt, anger and fear can lead to unhealthy beliefs about ourselves. Hosting a pity party is a temporary distraction and typically prolongs the pain. So, instead of running away from these feelings it is important to find ways to accept them in order to work through them. The best way to get through feelings of discomfort is to allow yourself to truly experience them, feel what it is like to be sad or anxious and then move on. This will give you confidence and strengthen your ability to deal with these types of emotional responses in the future. We often compare ourselves to others and may develop unhealthy beliefs as a result, believing that: they are superior or inferior to us; they can affect our feelings; we are able to affect their behavior; or that they are responsible for preventing us from progressing. You are capable of achieving whatever goals you set for yourself through your own choices. However, it is important to underline that everyone is an individual and should avoid comparing their achievements with those of others. The most helpful comparison you can make is to the person you used to be yesterday rather than anybody else. We deep down hope for the world to be fair; however, life doesn't come with a guarantee that our good deeds will be rewarded or enduring bad times will have better days. Nonetheless, realizing this truth can provide liberation - allowing us to revamp and create our own world without the obligation of following what its presumed norms entail.
One time, this man's doctor encouraged him to seek therapy, as his long-standing diabetes had developed into some negative psychological patterns that were starting to have an effect on his physical health. His mother dying prematurely from diabetes had caused him to feel destined for the same fate, and he completely neglected taking care of his blood sugar. Sadly, now it was taking a toll in the end, primarily costing him his vision and leading to a loss of his driver's license; hence isolating him further. He realized that by taking on just one small change in his lifestyle, namely replacing his two liter-a-day Pepsi habit with Diet Pepsi; he could in fact make a difference in how he was managing his blood sugar. He made the switch, despite disliking the taste of Diet Pepsi and seeing improvement relatively quickly. Every night, he delighted in pedaling his new thrift store acquisition, a beat-up exercise bike, as he watched his favorite TV shows. Not only did he slim down, but one day, to his surprise, he could make out the images on the screen a little better than before. His eyesight suddenly came to his mind: could the damage done not be permanent after all? He then had a burning desire to reach his new goal: to get his driver's license back. After setting this goal for himself, he was determined and dedicated to achieving it. From then on, he worked hard to make it happen. He was enthusiastic about our sessions together and at the end of our time he began coming in every week eager to begin, asking "What can we do this week?" For a while, he felt as though he was stuck; powerless at first to make an impact. But eventually his faith that he could alter the status quo surfaced, and only then did he feel capable of initiating the transformational changes in his world that he sought. A man who changed his life possessed deep inner qualities: He had the courage to firstly recognize that he needed transformation and embedded deep within himself was the capability to complete this transformation. Furthermore, he had the internal fortitude to embark upon a process of transforming both himself and the world. He felt hope that if he shed his bad mental habits, he could manage to overcome the difficulties faced in life and find rewards in the actions put forth; which he did, having started with his first step being one small one. One small step for today to become mentally stronger: Consider what bad mental habits could be causing hindrance, determine what unhealthy beliefs are keeping you from reaching full potential, and put into action one small step today.
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/