On Healthy Relationships 137

On Healthy Relationships 137

Chi Nguyen ·

Consider, for a moment, the hypothetical scenario wherein one finds oneself deprived of the ability to articulate. The capacity to convey thoughts and ideas verbally has been wrested away, leaving an individual grappling with an incongruity between the words residing in their mind and the severed connection to their oral faculties. Despite possessing a cognizance of the intended expressions, the articulation thereof remains impeded. Now, envision a further circumstance in which one's physical mobility is likewise compromised. A profound disconnection from one's corporeal being is experienced, as if ensnared within the confines of one's consciousness. While the world persists in its ceaseless motion, the capacity to partake or contribute to its unfolding events is rendered null, trapped in a state of immobilization. Lastly, conceive a scenario wherein the faculty of memory eludes one's grasp. Familiarity with one's familial ties dissipates, as does recognition of one's spatial surroundings. Engulfed in a desperate struggle to decipher the enigma encompassing their existence, the world itself assumes an alien visage. Comparable to being marooned within a foreign land, one finds themselves imprisoned, steadily succumbing to an inexorable erosion of every cherished aspect of their life. For a duration of three and a half years, the aforementioned ordeal constituted my lived experience. During my formative years, I exhibited characteristics typical of an eleven-year-old individual. Engaging in sports, possessing three siblings, and displaying an active disposition were integral aspects of my identity. My involvement in academic pursuits and athletic endeavors, particularly in the realm of swimming, was substantial. A harmonious trajectory seemed to be unfolding, as my health remained remarkably resilient. I was on an auspicious path towards personal growth and achievement. However, on April 29th, a momentous change occurred in my life. I awoke to an intense agony emanating from the side of my abdomen. As the one who rarely fell ill within my family, it was assumed that I had simply contracted a stomach ailment, one that would dissipate in due course, allowing me to resume my studies the following day. Yet, as days stretched into weeks and my condition steadily worsened, it became evident that an even graver matter was at hand.

Every facet of my being was gradually slipping away, as my body succumbed to an incapacitating deterioration. Witnessing the loss of my ability to walk, speak, move, and cogitate unfolded before me, as I helplessly observed my descent into a vegetative state, a state from which I remained trapped for three and a half years. The cause of my plight stemmed from the relentless onslaught of two uncommon neurological disorders: transverse myelitis and acute disseminated encephalomyelitis. However, it took a protracted span of three and a half years for the medical professionals to discern the true nature of my afflictions. Consequently, during that arduous duration, my struggle for survival intensified. Each passing day, I exerted every ounce of my dwindling energy in an attempt to communicate my presence to my family, to assure them that I endured and would prevail. "I shall endure and emerge unscathed," I whispered through my unwavering determination. Aware of the imminent finality that loomed over me, each night was fraught with trepidation, fearful that the dawn would never greet me again. Dread overpowered me, for I yearned to experience the joys of attending prom, cultivating romantic relationships, and celebrating graduation—those aspirations inherent to the dreams of youth. The medical practitioners had abandoned hope, consigning me to a fate of perpetual desolation. They counseled my family to relinquish their efforts on my behalf, to seclude me away, as I would forever remain a mere existence devoid of purpose or significance. Nevertheless, I clung steadfastly to the will to live, while my family persevered in their unwavering determination to reclaim me. In the year 2009, a single blink became a turning point. Each day, we effortlessly perform numerous blinks without conscious consideration. Presently, we are all engaged in the act of blinking. Yet, for me, the capacity to control my blinks became a pivotal means of reconnecting with the world. Through a single blink denoting negation and a double blink indicating affirmation, I discovered a profound symbol of hope, affirming my presence within. Gradually and resolutely, I commenced my journey of reintegration with my family.

It should be noted that the abilities we commonly perceive as ordinary, such as smiling, moving our fingers, and talking, represented significant milestones that I had to overcome. Regaining the capacity to smile was akin to conquering a formidable mountain. Restoring my visual focus and tracking abilities was another crucial accomplishment. Additionally, the restoration of my hand movements and the ability to eat were fundamental endeavors. I endured a prolonged deprivation, spanning four years, of even the pleasure of consuming food; a hardship that deeply affected me, given my profound affection for culinary experiences. Gradually, as my family members encircled me with their embrace, I underwent the process of verbal expression, initially struggling with incoherent utterances. During car rides, I engaged in conversations with my mother wherein my speech would often come out as unintelligible murmurs. My attempts at communication elicited responses from my mother such as "Uhum" and "Oh no!" accompanied by her evident lack of comprehension regarding my words. Nonetheless, despite the challenges, my entire family demonstrated their earnest efforts to understand and support me. Subsequently, I embarked on a resumption of my educational pursuits. I had endured a hiatus of five years from school, during which time I had assumed the role of a dominant figure among my triplet siblings. However, they had progressed significantly in their academic endeavors compared to myself. Upon entering high school as a freshman, I possessed the educational knowledge equivalent to that of a fifth-grader. When I expressed my intention to graduate alongside them within the stipulated timeframe, as they were sophomores at the time, their reaction was one of incredulity. Despite already being confined to a wheelchair, their condescension towards me stemmed not only from my physical stature of four feet, the same height I had been when I fell ill, but also from their disbelief in my capabilities. Nonetheless, my determination remained unwavering. I felt an imperative need to accomplish this feat, and although there may have been moments of lapsed consciousness along the way, I eventually returned with renewed vigor. And indeed, I succeeded. I managed to obtain my high school diploma and graduate alongside my peers.

And then, another significant event transpired in 2010. I completed my graduation in 2013, but in 2010, I rediscovered the presence of water in my life. It was not a deliberate choice, as I had previously developed a deep-seated fear of water. On that occasion, my brothers, in an unexpected turn of events, entered my hospital room, detached my feeding tube, secured a life jacket around me, grasped my arms and legs, and leaped into the water with me. The experience left me traumatized, yet I managed to survive. I confronted my fear head-on and overcame it, thus altering the course of my life. In the face of daunting challenges in life, it becomes imperative to take both metaphorical and literal leaps, to surmount the barriers imposed by fear and boldly pursue our aspirations. Consequently, I embarked on a journey of resuming my swimming activities. I acquired the ability to swim without relying on the use of my legs, initiating a process of movement and self-discovery in the water. Within the aquatic environment, I found a newfound sense of liberation, where I no longer required the aid of a wheelchair or assistance from others. It was an experience unknown to those around me. When I initially resumed swimming, nobody could fathom that I had to detach my feeding tube and enter the water. My circumstances remained undisclosed. I regained a sense of normalcy, although the concept of "normal" is subjective and subject to individual interpretation. In my own personal experience, what I considered normal entailed walking around in stilettos and displaying kindness, much like the general population. However, one time I had immersed myself in water, and I felt a sense of commonality with others. This led me to participate in the London Paralympic Games as a swimmer, a journey that transpired over the next two and a half years or so. Throughout the preceding year, I had dedicated myself to the goal of competing in London, despite being met with laughter and discouragement from those around me. They doubted my capabilities, emphasizing that my entry into the sporting realm had occurred significantly later than my peers' initiation in 2008, as I was still contending with a life-threatening situation during that time. Upon arriving at the games, skeptics declared, "You will not have a chance." Nonetheless, I remained steadfast, accompanied by my family and coach, both of whom had unwavering faith in my abilities. As fate would have it, my efforts paid off, as I returned home from the London 2012 games with one gold and three silver medals. Thus, my perseverance prevailed, and I chose not to heed the naysayers' remarks.

However, my main point revolves around the fact that numerous individuals often inquire, "How did you achieve it? How did you persist without surrendering? How were you able to maintain a cheerful demeanor when confronted with seemingly overwhelming circumstances? Why didn't you succumb to despair and allow it to consume you?" Life is a journey filled with challenges and obstacles that test our strength, resilience, and determination. From personal struggles to societal pressures, we encounter numerous hurdles along the way. However, it is in the face of adversity that we have the opportunity to grow, evolve, and ultimately conquer whatever stands in our path. In this blog post, we will explore the powerful mantra: "Face it. Embrace it. Defy it. Conquer it." Let us delve into the meaning behind each step and how embracing this mindset can transform our lives. The first step in overcoming any obstacle is to face it head-on. Avoiding or denying our challenges only prolongs our suffering and hinders our progress. Facing our fears, shortcomings, and adversities requires courage and self-awareness. It involves acknowledging the truth, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it may be. When we face our challenges, we gain a clearer understanding of their nature and impact on our lives. We recognize the areas that need improvement, the habits that hold us back, or the situations we must confront. By facing reality, we take the crucial first step towards finding solutions and moving forward. After confronting our challenges, the next step is to embrace them. Embracing does not imply resignation or giving up; instead, it is about finding the strength and resilience to accept what we cannot change. It involves shifting our perspective from a victim mentality to one of empowerment. Embracing our challenges allows us to grow from them. By accepting the reality of our circumstances, we can focus on the lessons they offer and seek opportunities for personal development. Embracing our challenges also means accepting ourselves, flaws and all. It is in our imperfections that we find our unique strength and authenticity.

While acceptance is essential, it does not mean surrendering to our challenges. Defying our obstacles involves actively seeking solutions, pushing our boundaries, and challenging the status quo. It is the refusal to be defined by our limitations or held back by our fears. Defiance requires resilience, determination, and creativity. It means exploring alternative paths, seeking advice, and acquiring new skills. It involves thinking outside the box and being open to innovative approaches. By defying our challenges, we develop a sense of agency and become active participants in shaping our destinies. The final stage of the mantra is conquering our challenges. Through persistence, hard work, and unwavering belief in ourselves, we can overcome even the most formidable obstacles. Conquering is not just about achieving a particular goal; it is about the personal growth and transformation that occur throughout the journey. When we conquer our challenges, we prove to ourselves that we are capable of greatness. We gain confidence, build resilience, and cultivate a mindset that can tackle any adversity. The victory lies not only in the outcome but also in the strength and wisdom gained along the way. Over the course of the past seven years, I have formulated a personal motto that has guided my actions. During one of the most challenging periods of my life, when I was plagued by illness, enduring intense pain, and yearning for liberation from my predicament, I developed this motto as a means to persevere. I sought a chance to truly live, a second opportunity. The essence of my motto can be summed up as follows: "Confront it. Embrace it. Overcome it." I recognized that I had to confront these obstacles directly, refusing to retreat or retreat into a state of vulnerability. Neither my family nor I could afford such a luxury. I had to confront the situation head-on, acknowledging and accepting the circumstances that had befallen me. Yet, in the end, I also had to embrace these circumstances, striving not to become bitter or resentful, as that would ultimately yield no positive outcomes. I had to embrace the reality that life unfolds unexpectedly, and though we may not comprehend the reasons behind certain events, we possess the power to transform them into something meaningful. Ultimately, this mindset empowered me to defy the challenges I faced.

The aforementioned experiences have greatly contributed to my ability to surpass expectations, challenging the opinions of doctors who had dismissed me by asserting that I would not survive, that I would remain in a vegetative state, and that I would amount to nothing. Ultimately, this resilience has enabled me to overcome not only the doubts of coaches and medical professionals, but also the skepticism of all those who doubted my capabilities. In contemporary society, it has become exceedingly simple to dismiss and discourage individuals, thwarting their aspirations and ambitions to create a meaningful existence for themselves. Nevertheless, it is crucial to acknowledge that positive change is indeed possible. Although numerous individuals refused to support my endeavors, I clung to the encouragement of a select few who proclaimed, "Yes, you can," and that unwavering support fueled my determination. "Face it. Embrace it. Defy it. Conquer it." This mantra of mine encapsulates the essence of overcoming obstacles and achieving personal growth. By acknowledging and accepting our challenges, we set the stage for transformation. Through defiance and determination, we forge a path towards success. Finally, by conquering our obstacles, we unlock our full potential and become the best versions of ourselves. Remember, life's challenges are not meant to defeat us but to empower us. Embrace the mantra, face your challenges, and embark on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and triumph. Conquering obstacles remains an ongoing process for me. Currently, I am striving to regain my physical strength and mobility. My family is considerably tall, with heights reaching six feet, while I stand at a mere four feet, even when wearing heels. However, two weeks ago, with the aid of a trainer, I was able to stand on my own two feet. This accomplishment represents yet another conquest in my journey. Indeed, conquering challenges is a lifelong pursuit for all of us. Today, as we convene, our focal point is "Mindset" and how our mental attitudes and choices wield significant influence over our outcomes, enhancing our lives and potentially extricating us from the darkest moments we may face. It can even provide the means to defy death, granting us a second chance and empowering us to improve our lives despite overwhelming odds. The power to ignite change lies within a single individual. In conclusion, I leave you with a final reflection: What obstacles, setbacks, or challenges currently exist in your life that, with the appropriate mindset, you can confront, embrace, defy, and conquer? Thank you for always boldly evening the odds.

See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/

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