On Healthy Relationships 136

On Healthy Relationships 136

Chi Nguyen ·

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I would like to express my gratitude for your presence here today. Approximately a year ago, I engaged in an activity that I believe all of you have experienced at some point. Prior to the commencement of my day, upon waking up, my initial thought was centered around my need for more sleep, as I felt deprived of rest. Subsequently, I found myself contemplating the lack of time available for me to adequately prepare for the day ahead. Consequently, my morning routine became hurried, and I proceeded to move swiftly from one appointment to another, as my life was characterized by a demanding schedule. While the busyness was a necessity due to the multitude of tasks and objectives that required completion, I recognized that my desire for fulfillment extended beyond mere engagement in enjoyable pursuits. Consequently, I coined the term "growth" to encapsulate this broader aspiration. Growth, in the context of my career, skills, personal development, mindset, and social connections, became the focal point of my endeavors. I sought to expand my network of friends, engage in more meetings, and embrace a higher volume of experiences. This mindset fostered a belief that my existence was validated by my perpetual state of busyness. The aforementioned day I mentioned earlier was notably distinct, as I returned home during the evening and experienced an intense emotional breakdown. Perplexingly, I struggled to comprehend the cause, considering that I appeared to possess all the elements of a fulfilling life. I boasted a remarkable career, garnering accolades as a person of high potential. Furthermore, I possessed an array of diplomas, owned the latest iteration of the iPhone, and resided in a truly exceptional apartment adorned with impressive possessions. In my perception, I believed that I had diligently fulfilled the criteria necessary to become a well-rounded individual—an embodiment of success and contentment. However, reality proved contradictory; I felt dissatisfied and hollow. A profound void loomed within my existence, and I found myself incapable of understanding why I couldn't derive happiness from my circumstances at that particular juncture. Why did an incessant yearning for something superior, novel, and more enticing persist? Why did my current state consistently fall short of satiating my desires?

The link in question pertains to a highly renowned doctor specializing in the field of life fulfillment. Her research reveals a prevalent sentiment among individuals, including myself, wherein even prior to commencing our daily activities, we experience a sense of inadequacy or insufficiency. We find ourselves lacking in various aspects: inadequate physical exercise, insufficient professional engagements, inadequate remuneration, insufficient financial resources, lacking in influence or authority, inadequate connection with nature for relaxation, and a dearth of time. The feeling of insufficiency persists across multiple domains, encompassing physical fitness, intellectual acumen, breadth of knowledge, and professional success. Consequently, this perpetual sense of inadequacy breeds a belief that we can never attain a state of completion. It burdens our thoughts before we retire for the night and lingers as an illusion of scarcity when we awaken. According to Lynn, this pervasive sentiment forms the foundation of a hurried existence and contributes significantly to a profound sense of unfulfillment. Regrettably, this scenario profoundly resonated with my own life, leaving me deeply frustrated. For weeks, if not months, I grappled with what many refer to as a quarterlife crisis. Eventually, I received a piece of advice that struck a chord with me. An individual suggested that I should consider reducing my efforts, as persisting with the same actions would only yield the same results. It occurred to me that my inclination to continually do more might be inhibiting my progress. Consequently, I pondered the possibility of achieving more by doing less.

Subsequently, I proceeded to engage in the customary action that many individuals belonging to the millennial generation would undertake—I conducted an online search by employing the popular search engine, Google. The search yielded a staggering result of over three billion hits, which, I must admit, did not instill a sense of encouragement within me. Following this disheartening revelation, I succumbed to the tendencies often exhibited by others of my generation and allowed myself to become easily distracted. I diverted my attention to the platform known as Netflix, which now possesses a feature wherein movies and documentaries commence playing automatically, without any explicit request from the viewer. Ordinarily, I find this particular attribute to be rather vexing; however, on this occasion, a documentary began playing, capturing my attention from the outset. The documentary commenced with a poignant quote that proclaimed, "So much of our lives is shrouded in the haze of habitual behavior. We dedicate copious amounts of time in pursuit of fulfillment, yet nothing ever seems to satisfy us entirely. Consequently, we find ourselves becoming ensnared in this ceaseless pursuit, leading to a state of perpetual unhappiness." This remark seized my interest, for it recounted the tale of two American gentlemen known as the minimalists. While I had encountered the term "minimalism" in the past, I initially failed to comprehend its essence. I held a rather despondent impression of individuals who adhered to minimalist principles, as I believed that they subjected themselves to an excessively restrictive way of life, whereby their possessions were limited to a mere ten items within a suitcase, and the acquisition of automobiles, residences, or even personal preferences, such as color preferences, was deemed impermissible. However, as I stand before you today, I humbly acknowledge the fallacy of my initial perceptions regarding minimalism.

Minimalism does not revolve around the accumulation of material possessions; rather, it emphasizes the significance of quality. This distinction is particularly pertinent in our contemporary society, where growth and numerical measures dominate. This inclination towards quantitative achievements is evident in various aspects, such as the pursuit of greater profits and increased purchasing power for both companies and individuals. Paradoxically, although we are cognizant that material possessions do not bring us genuine happiness, we witness individuals resorting to extreme measures, like camping outside Apple stores to acquire the latest iPhone. Moreover, while we recognize the paramount importance of interpersonal connections, we find ourselves dedicating more time to our virtual acquaintances rather than nurturing our real-life relationships. Regrettably, even familial obligations often take a backseat as we prioritize extending our work hours to amass greater wealth. That is the phenomenon that we all acknowledge, yet we persist in engaging in it regardless. I was aware of it, and yet I proceeded to partake in it, which led me to contemplate the matter. How is it possible that we, who reside in the Western world and enjoy the highest standard of living in history, constantly yearn for more? In my exploration, I have identified three influential factors that contribute to our unwavering belief in the pursuit of excess. The first of these factors, albeit a missing piece in the puzzle, is a biological trigger ingrained within all of us. It may evoke familiarity when observed in animals, such as their instinctual drive to hunt for food during the summer to ensure sustenance in the winter—a survival strategy both animals and early humans shared. Although this instinct persists within us, its relevance has significantly diminished in modern times. Mother Nature, however, continues to manipulate us with this mechanism, resulting in an unsettling sensation that compels us to take action.

Acting proficiently has become remarkably convenient in contemporary times due to the constant stimulation provided by numerous economic sources. We are bombarded with an abundance of messages dictating how we should live our lives, whether it be through our smartphones, television programs, books, newspapers, or advertisements encountered outdoors on buses and highways. Particularly in the Netherlands, an average individual is exposed to a staggering number of advertisements ranging from five hundred to three thousand each day. This deluge of messages attempts to convince us that our lives are almost complete, requiring just one specific product to perfectly complement our possessions. The sheer volume of these daily messages makes it easier for us to succumb to our restless impulses and act upon them. This phenomenon, in turn, leads to the emergence of a significant concern I would like to highlight: consumerism. Reflecting upon the matter, I was reminded of the fashion industry. During my childhood, shopping with my mother was a straightforward affair, revolving around two seasons: summer and winter. However, the rise of fast fashion has resulted in the proliferation of 52 fashion seasons per year, with some retailers even presenting new collections every single day. This constant rotation of trends necessitates frequent purchases, as an item bought today may swiftly fall out of fashion tomorrow. It is important to ponder the implications of this excessive consumerism, as we are constantly triggered by countless stimuli. The perpetual cycle of buying commences anew once we find ourselves on the outskirts of the latest trends, triggering our desires once again. Consequently, we accumulate a surplus of unnecessary possessions within our homes, exacerbating the grave issue of environmental pollution. We continue to exploit Earth's resources beyond its capacity, employing materials that our planet cannot sustainably provide. In light of these alarming circumstances, it is imperative that we halt this prevailing madness.

I have contemplated the prevailing narrative that governs our lives and have come to the conclusion that we are in need of an alternative one. We require a fresh narrative that centers around the concept of sufficiency. In my exploration of this matter, I have extensively engaged in experiments with minimalism. These experiments have revealed to me an unexpected revelation about sufficiency, one that transcends numerical or quantitative measurements. The aforementioned concept pertains to a context of our own creation, derived from the understanding that we possess ample knowledge and sufficiency within ourselves. The concept of minimalism contemplates the presence of awkward silence, where there exists an absence of any substantial elements. In essence, minimalism embodies the notion of emptiness. Today, I am here to expound upon my acquired knowledge during the development of this new narrative pertaining to the concept of "enough." It is noteworthy to mention that attaining such a state of sufficiency proves to be a formidable endeavor, thus underscoring my intent to share with you today my proficiency in dance. The underlying theme of this occasion revolves around the notion of "shut up and dance," and it is with great pleasure that I present to you the intricacies of my rendition of the minimalist two-step procedure. The initial step in adopting minimalism involves the identification of what holds significance to an individual. Subsequently, the second step entails the elimination of all superfluous elements, which can often be quite extensive. Discovering that which carries the utmost importance varies among individuals, with some finding it effortless and others encountering considerable difficulty. It is crucial to note that this personal revelation cannot be obtained solely through reading a book; rather, it is an inherently individualized process. Certain individuals derive ultimate contentment from amassing a collection of stamps within the pages of a book, while others explore the entirety of the globe, and still others find solace in enjoying a simple cup of tea within the confines of their backyard. Each of these pursuits is equally valid, as the essence lies in the fact that what is important to you is unequivocally your own; it is an authentic representation of your unique values and desires.

In my moment of crisis, I found myself lacking a clear understanding of my purpose. Consequently, I embarked on a journey, starting not at step one, but rather at step two. This involved systematically eliminating various possessions, such as books, clothes, office supplies, and random items I had acquired in order to personalize my living space. While this may appear deceptively straightforward, I assure you it was anything but. The process forced me to confront my inner self and grapple with my thoughts. Frequently, I found myself wrestling with the decision to discard certain items. Thoughts such as, "I invested a considerable amount of money in this, so discarding it seems wasteful," or "Perhaps I will use this at some point in the future," surfaced frequently. However, upon closer examination, I realized that holding onto these belongings served no purpose. Letting go of these possessions created space for the things that truly mattered to me. Consequently, I purged my surroundings of more than 1,500 items. Remarkably, I did not experience any longing or regret for a single item. This realization was profound, and it brought me back to the initial stage of eliminating belongings, which paved the way for the emergence of the things I found genuinely significant. These meaningful possessions have brought me great happiness. I consider myself a contented minimalist dancer, and it is my purpose today to convey to you that an alternative to material excess exists. However, embracing this alternative requires the audacity to dance to a different tune, relinquishing familiar habits and experimenting with new approaches. Undeniably, this path is arduous and necessitates courage. Yet, I firmly believe that you possess the ability to undertake this journey.

I would like to take this moment to reflect upon our present situation. I encourage you to pause, take a deep breath, and introspect. Ask yourself: Are you prepared for a life of sufficiency, a life with reduced stress but enriched experiences? Are you ready for a life focused more on yourself and less on others, a life where material possessions are not the primary source of happiness? If you are ready to embark on such a journey, I challenge you to let go of one thing today. It could be something as simple as an unsightly towel that has been languishing in your storage locker, or perhaps a business card from someone you have no intention of contacting. It could even be an intangible item, such as a task on your to-do list that serves no real purpose, or a product that fails to bring value to your life. I implore you to examine your daily routine and make deliberate choices that lead you towards a life of minimalism. As you embark on this path, I would like to share the best advice I received during my own journey: When you continue doing what you have always done, you will inevitably obtain the same results you have always achieved. Thank you sincerely for lending your attention and for keeping your life plain and simple.

See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/

Subscribe to our newsletter

Sign up for our newsletter to recieve news, promotions, and annoucements.