When was the most recent instance in which you willingly rendered yourself utterly vulnerable to an unfamiliar individual? When I mention the notion of making oneself vulnerable, I am actually referring to the act of being forthcoming and sincere in expressing one's emotions. This may even encompass something as basic as initiating a conversation, such as greeting a stranger on a bus. Regrettably, it is highly unlikely that most individuals engage in this behavior. If you were to encounter me while strolling along the street, would you choose to initiate a conversation? It is worth noting that my appearance may be perceived as rather intimidating. Subsequently, this prompts contemplation on the concept of vulnerability. In our inherent human nature, the concept of vulnerability starkly contrasts with our understanding. It is essential to acknowledge that vulnerability does not inherently entail projecting a feeble image, contrary to common belief. However, we are often misled to believe that displaying weakness inevitably leads to exclusion from the robust social group or tribe. Please accompany me, for I stand at a height of six feet and four inches. Despite my imposing stature, I wonder, if I were to shed tears as a stranger, would you extend solace unto me? Perhaps, in a more realistic scenario, you might place your arm around my shoulders, cast an exasperated glance, and silently urge me to proceed, for that is the customary course of action. In truth, we all tend to persevere in such situations. We conceal our genuine emotions deep within ourselves, constructing a persona and façade of contentment, well-being, and normality. However, I pose a query: Does this approach yield favorable outcomes? Is the daily construction of a false front, feigning happiness, truly superior to concealing our authentic sentiments?
Today, on this platform, I aim to convey an unequivocal and honest message, dismissing any claims or assertions that lack credibility. My justification for disputing the validity of your statements stems from personal experience, having endured a life immersed in such falsehoods. I originate from a humble and financially disadvantaged working-class background, where my parents exemplified unparalleled perseverance and dedication. My father tirelessly stocked shelves, while my mother diligently cared for horses. They constituted the pillars of strength and inspiration in my life, and I hold them dear to this day. Unfortunately, they assumed the responsibilities of parenthood at a young age, possibly too prematurely, with limited access to knowledge, education, and financial resources. Nonetheless, they raised me with unwavering determination. In our household, the thought of pilfering a chocolate biscuit from the cupboard was more daunting than the specter of being attacked by a fearsome predator like the great white shark from Jaws. During my educational journey, it became evident at an early stage that I encountered significant difficulties. With each passing academic year, my performance progressively declined, and the scope of my achievable accomplishments diminished. I was informed that I would never succeed or make any substantial contributions. By the time I reached my GCSEs, I had failed to such an extent that I resorted to fabricating my achievements in order to uphold a semblance of dignity when queried by others. My educational experiences consistently and enduringly evoked a profound sense of shame within me. At this juncture in my existence, the household situation commenced to deteriorate for our family. It becomes arduous to conceal the fact that, after eight years trapped in a repetitive pattern of returning home after school, engaging in heated disputes with my parents, shedding tears, and enduring solitary nights, evading the ramifications is a challenging endeavor. As an individual devoid of siblings, I found myself devoid of conversation partners, erroneously perceiving such an arrangement as commonplace in every household. However, I have since realized that my assumption was incorrect. Consequently, this circumstance led me down a path of solitude, ultimately resulting in my present presence before you, driven by a profound sense of loneliness, seeking solace through this conversation.
Loneliness has a significant impact on a considerable population of nine million individuals. Collectively, this results in a substantial financial burden on the National Health Service (NHS), amounting to 5.4 billion pounds annually. The health implications associated with loneliness are widely recognized, with some asserting that it is equally detrimental to one's well-being as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. If one were to imagine enduring such a habit for a decade, the consequences would parallel the adverse effects experienced by individuals in my circumstances. However, the purpose of our discussion is not related to the aforementioned matter. We have convened to address the origins of loneliness and explore potential methods to mitigate its effects. In my personal view, I contend that my own experience of loneliness stems from a deficiency in engaging in profound and purposeful exchanges with individuals. Now, consider this in the context of our expanding global society. We are consistently informed of our ever-increasing connections with numerous individuals. What implications does this have for those who experience loneliness or engage in the act of maintaining deceptive appearances, as I know many of you do proficiently? Rather than fostering improved relationships, this scenario necessitates the perpetual construction of our facades to a greater extent, as we become linked to an increasing number of people. Consequently, we are compelled to feign happiness and well-being for a greater portion of our lives. As our global landscape expands, so too has my personal sphere. I relocated my educational pursuits to a sixth form institution. Once again, I encountered discouragement, being informed that I would never achieve anything significant. The class I was born into was not deemed capable of pursuing higher education at a university, as it was considered a futile investment of time and resources. An alternative, more pragmatic path was recommended. Faced with this dilemma, I had to decide whether to acquiesce or defy conventional wisdom. My parents instilled in me the values of resilience and self-reliance, emphasizing the absence of handouts. Consequently, I chose not to heed the naysayers. I submitted an application to a UK university and, on the day of the results, I faced disappointment as I did not meet the required standards. However, this setback did not deter me. Having previously visited Cardiff and developed a profound admiration for it, I tirelessly reached out to numerous departments, persistently expressing my interest and determination. Eventually, at the end of that eventful day, an unfamiliar woman extended an offer to me, despite my predicted failure and grades that fell five levels below their expectations. It was an extraordinary turn of events, and to this day, I remain unaware of her identity. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the opportunity afforded to me by this remarkable act of faith.
Therefore, I found myself enrolling at Cardiff University to pursue a scientific discipline. It is rather unbelievable, had you asked me during my childhood, that I would embark on such a journey. However, as the holiday season approached, accompanied by the commencement of my first year, Christmas became an arduous time for me. In our family, affection was equated with materialistic offerings, and regrettably, this was the norm, as it likely is for numerous families. Consequently, it transformed into a breeding ground for disputes and frustrations. In the Christmas of 2014, when I reached the age of 18, my already small family of three completely disintegrated. I vividly recall a morning after Boxing Day when I was assisting my mother at her workplace. Suddenly, she collapsed, her body wracked with sobs and tremors. I was overwhelmed, unsure of how to respond. At the tender age of 18, I lack the capacity to adequately describe the distressing sight before me. Nevertheless, I remained by her side, lending her my ears. The specifics of her words elude me, but they were undeniably bleak. Throughout their lives, my parents had constructed a façade, feigning happiness when, in reality, they were not. The tension reached such an unbearable pinnacle that it surpassed the ordinary conflicts one might witness on the news—those instances where individuals harm each other within the confines of a relationship. This ordeal was far worse. Hastily, I returned to the confines of University, isolating myself swiftly and suppressing my emotions. I feigned contentment and wellness, concealing my actual state of being, all the while preventing anyone from challenging my perception. In my quest for solace amid solitude, I sought refuge in online dating and relationships. It was as though I sought to find resolution amidst my desolation, joining the ranks of the twenty-seven million individuals engaged in such endeavors. Currently in the United Kingdom, I have encountered repeated instances of failure, leaving me perplexed and questioning my lack of understanding regarding the underlying causes.
However, with an increasing number of rejections, I find myself confined to a state of dwindling self-worth, experiencing profound social isolation. This pattern persisted until I reached a point where I witnessed a six-foot, 400-kilogram bearded man, who regularly takes the stage before an audience, succumb to a collapse similar to that of his mother. He convulsed, trembled, and wept uncontrollably. For the past four years, I have relied on medication, but now, devoid of any remaining hope, I faced a critical decision. It was a choice between terminating my existence or confiding in someone. Ultimately, I chose the latter and disclosed my struggles to an individual who happens to be present in this very room today. Remarkably, he has become my closest companion, transforming our relationship from that of strangers to that of brothers. I bared my soul to him, and he reciprocated, forming a deep bond between us. When one reaches the stage of deliberating upon one's own life, ample time becomes available for contemplation. Amidst this vast expanse of time, thoughts multiply ceaselessly. I, too, found myself immersed in profound ruminations, pondering intensely over matters such as how to muster the strength to rise from bed, how to summon the courage to face the world, how to reintegrate into the academic realm, and how to articulate the profound revelation my mother shared with me that fateful morning, even to a fellow passenger on a bus.
I stand before you today, proposing a potential solution to address the prevalent issue of loneliness. It appears that embracing openness and honesty with unfamiliar individuals may hold the key to alleviating this growing trend. I implore you to make an attempt, even in the most modest of gestures, towards anyone you encounter. However, I must now persuade you as to why engaging in such behavior is essential and how it will profoundly impact your life. I assure you, it will indeed have a significant influence. Nevertheless, I must admit that it is no easy task. In fact, it may be the most arduous endeavor you will ever undertake, especially if you have spent your entire life projecting a facade of strength. Acknowledging one's vulnerability and shedding tears require immense courage. Yet, I encourage you to push through, for if I can do it, so can you. Upon returning to the university for my third year, I recognized the futility of idling away the first two years, during which I failed and experienced emotional distress. Determined to prove the doubters wrong, I resolved to make amends to those individuals who had extended their trust in me, demonstrating that their decision to open up to me was indeed worthwhile. I had apologized for my abrupt entrance into my third year, and within the initial two weeks, an opportunity for volunteering arose. Until that point, I had no prior involvement in societies, albeit having a few acquaintances. However, this opportunity was significantly distant from my comfort zone, making me feel uneasy. I doubted my ability to undertake the task, but I eventually decided to embrace it, recognizing the need to demonstrate my commitment to the individuals involved. Therefore, I wholeheartedly attribute everything you are about to witness to the support and encouragement of those who placed their trust in me.
I undertook a volunteering project and submitted an application to assume the role of lead, despite lacking any prior experience in management or leadership, and having no knowledge of event coordination. However, I resolved to take on the challenge. The festival I became involved with had been in operation for four decades, but its attendance had dwindled to the brink of extinction, with only a few hundred individuals showing up. Determined, I assumed responsibility and exerted considerable effort. Although I encountered several obstacles along the way, to summarize, we successfully transformed that modest festival into an event that now accommodates 2,000 attendees, all at no cost. However, I found myself unable to cease my pursuit. It would only lead me one step closer to alleviating my loneliness. So, what was my next move? I made the decision to run for the position of Student Union president. I found myself competing against prominent individuals within the Union known for their considerable influence and dedicated following. These exceptional individuals were the epitome of greatness, and upon meeting them, I couldn't help but admire their ascent. In contrast, I entered the race as a relatively unknown man with a substantial beard. People gazed upon me, seemingly expecting me to finish last. To their surprise, I not only secured a higher position, but I also surpassed some of the most remarkable individuals I have ever encountered. It dawned on me that despite being unfamiliar to them, people were placing their trust in me. Evidently, there must have been something about my demeanor that resonated with them. Today, I would like to express my gratitude to all those who exhibited faith in me, even if it was merely due to the presence of my glittery beard and the whimsical bunnies.
The subsequent matter at hand pertains to academia. Regrettably, I was never informed about the possibility of attaining any academic accomplishments. However, the aforementioned naive individual, whom I mentioned earlier, managed to obtain a first-class dissertation in the field of hyper alkaline bacterial communities thriving in waters with a pH level of 10 and above. This marked a significant milestone in my life, as I never envisioned achieving a first-class distinction or even obtaining a degree. Following the successful completion of my A-levels, the question arises: do we halt our endeavors? Naturally, the answer is a resounding no. We must continue to persevere and strive to make those who have shown faith in us proud. Consequently, I pursued further scientific education through a master's degree program. During this pursuit, I effectively refuted certain extensively accepted literature with my superior concepts. To summarize, I emerged victorious and managed to discredit several scientists, rendering their work seemingly incompetent. At present, I find myself seriously contemplating the pursuit of a Ph.D. However, I must acknowledge that I am not inclined towards such audacity. Additionally, there remains one more objective that I must attain: establishing a presence in the business world. Hence, I must venture forth and designate myself as a businessman. I am not merely an ordinary individual, but rather a social entrepreneur. In addition to pursuing my master's education, I have actively engaged with society. As part of this involvement, I co-founded a small enterprise called Teeny. Today, our mission at Teeny is to address the crisis of fuel poverty. I find it quite preposterous that the smart meters endorsed by companies such as British Gas and EDF are only capable of saving 1% of your energy consumption. Therefore, I boldly assert that we have the ability to save you up to 10% of your energy usage. Over the past 14 months, we have made significant strides in the energy industry, creating a noticeable impact. If you have a genuine interest in this matter, I strongly encourage you to reach out to me for further discussion.
Currently, I had successfully transcended his initial state of loneliness and has emerged as a noteworthy figure encompassing the roles of a scientist, leader, and politician. Transitioning to the present day, I find myself in a highly accomplished position. Not only have I achieved two exceptional science theses and earned first-class honours, but I also possess a substantial beard and have fostered valuable friendships. Moreover, I am presently engaged in the pursuit of my second entrepreneurial venture. Should you choose to pay me a visit, which I strongly encourage, you would discover me diligently stationed at my desk, engrossed in the act of typing. My surroundings consist of an assemblage of brilliant intellects hailing from Wales, constituting a truly exceptional group. Our collective efforts are dedicated to several ambitious projects aimed at effecting significant global change. At the commencement of this discourse, I inquired as to whether you had conversed with me while we were both on the street. At present, I beseech you to contemplate the notion that, originating from an individual of rather limited acumen, I possessed an idea deemed worthy of dissemination. Allow me to expound upon this idea, which concerns my personal growth and the wisdom I have gleaned from experiences with solitude. Lesson one entails embracing solitude as a valuable experience. Immerse yourself fully in it by setting aside your mobile device and engaging in conversation with unfamiliar individuals. Demonstrate candor and vulnerability regarding your absence of familial ties, your ambitions for the future, or even your fondness for miniature trains. However, ensure that any extraneous and undesirable elements, metaphorically represented by "garbage," are left outside, in parallel with the weather. Lesson two emphasizes the importance of promptly taking action, without hesitation. Stepping outside one's comfort zone can be daunting, yet it is a vital catalyst for personal growth. Having experienced this phenomenon numerous times myself, I can attest to its transformative power. However, opting to proceed with caution and a more leisurely pace only serves to prolong the journey towards self-actualization. Instead, it is crucial to embrace a mindset of urgency and exert maximum effort, even if setbacks and failures arise along the way. Such obstacles should be regarded as opportunities for learning and should not deter one from persevering towards their goals. Ultimately, I hold the belief that cogitation substantiates my existence. It was once conveyed to me that I would perpetually remain inconsequential within the realms of scientific, academic, or commendable pursuits. However, I resolved to defy these detractors and successfully achieved my objectives. Consequently, I have attained the status of a scientist and emerged as a leader in multiple domains, including business. I confidently assert that you, too, possess the potential to accomplish similar feats. I extend my gratitude for your attention and growing confidence.
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/