We all want something in our life but oftentimes don't know how to get it. Before I share the secret with you, let's discuss why this might be. We all worry about the possibility of failure, facing rejection, and not being good enough - fear governs us all. Self-doubt can be the source of many struggles in life, from feeling isolated or inadequate to struggling with decision making or pursuing our goals. It's at the root of it all, and can hold us back from finding joy and success. Self-doubt can be the cause of many of our misfortunes - from settling for a job we don't love, to not being able to reach our fitness goals, to even staying in unsatisfying relationships. It is often the root of problems beyond what we might think. Self-doubt can be the reason why we remain stagnant, never taking the initiative to make a change. It has us questioning and second-guessing ourselves - a barrier that keeps us from achieving all that we are capable of. Self-doubt is a feeling of insecurity or lack of confidence in one's own abilities, talents, or judgment. It can prevent us from achieving our ambitions and goals and lead to feelings of inferiority, helplessness, and depression. It can also cause anxiety around making decisions and taking steps to reach success.
Self-doubt is a narrative we construct around ourselves, feeling like our efforts will be in vain and that rejection and failure are inevitable. Despite this, intelligent people can struggle with these negative thoughts. When you're really smart, you're capable of predicting all the potential negative outcomes that may arise if action is taken. Therefore, you never take any risks or chances. It is my belief that having boldness, rather than intelligence, is a greater indicator of success. Smart people ponder the potential negative consequences of when things don't go as planned; however, bold people imagine the possible positive outcomes when things go right. Smart people can be bold and bold people can be smart, but it's boldness that is the driving force behind success. Boldness opens doors and will put you on a path to achieving your goals. In other words, boldness is the secret sauce to success!
When I was 18, living in Winnipeg, a small town in Canada, my dream was to become a VJ for MuchMusic, the Canadian equivalent of MTV, to emulate the famous "female Carson Daly". I was aware of how competitive this job was, so I decided that in order to have a successful attempt at securing it, I had to create an impressive audition tape. Therefore, the only way forward seemed to be making a superb demo tape. Keanu Reeves, who was the biggest movie star of all time, had an unexpected dream to perform Hamlet. After filming the movie Speed, he thought that there would be no better place than icy-cold Winnipeg Manitoba (minus 40!) to pursue his dream and take on this challenging role. My dream of getting Keanu Reeves on my demo tape for MuchMusic in order to land my dream job was met with laughter by my family and friends. Yet, I believed that it was a great moment and I was determined to make it happen.
I waited at the back of the theater where he was performing the next day when I knew he was in town. My friend and I had planned for a ten-minute outing, but it ended up taking over an hour. Despite the cold, I was determined to stay, so after he went home my idol actually came out to join me, emerging from the back of the theater five minutes later! I tapped Keanu on the shoulder, having confidently walked through all the girls, media, and cameras and told him "Your autograph isn't enough; I need you to help me get my dream job!" He looked at me perplexed wondering how he can do this. He actually considered my request somewhat by saying, "If you give me your phone number I will call you when I have a few minutes free." I quickly approached a girl I didn't know, pocketed my gum wrapper and wrote down my number along with name using the eyeliner from her purse. Before anyone could say anything, I ran away.
I went to school the following day and told my friends about the exploit I had, which made them laugh and joke about it. I then informed my family of what happened, although they didn't have as much of a better and more serious reaction. Even two days after meeting my hero, no one had called me yet; everyone just kept teasing me though. "Oh ho yeah, did Keanu call you?" they asked with a laugh, making it seem like I was such a loser. Day three arrived and just like the other two days I hadn't heard back from Keanu. But when I got home then, my mom asked if I had checked the answering machine. I replied in the negative because during that time period, answering machines weren't exactly common, unlike voicemails these days! Keanu was actually on the phone with my mom and asked if Jennifer was home. My mom replied, "Who is this?" Keanu replied, "This is Keanu calling for Jennifer," except I was not at home. My mother then suggested that he call back later and hung up. "Oh my god!", I exclaimed upon seeing the next message. It was Keanu, and he said: "Hi Jennifer, this is my phone number. You were mentioning something to me but I'm not sure what it was – give me a call back."
I was having a major anxious moment and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. After regaining my composure, I called him back and, with boldness, clarified what I had been trying to communicate. Two days later, my parents were shocked but filled with joy to find he had arrived at our living room, seated on the sofa surrounded by my three friends being my camera crew of sorts. With an awkward but hilarious boom microphone hitting him in the face, I realized it was time for my "Oprah Moment". You bet I did - I got the greatest demo tape of all time! Look at it now. I sure got the job interview at MuchMusic as well. I even went on to audition for the job of video jockey, that's correct! But no, I unfortunately was not successful in obtaining the job in the end.
I'm telling you this story anyway because it was a significant moment for me in my life. It was at this time when I realized how crucial this experience was for me and how it would shape my outlook going forward. You need to ask in order to achieve success-- that's the big lesson I learned. Requesting what you want is essential. The saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" is indeed correct. It means that those who take the initiative to raise a concern or problem are more likely to get attention and have their needs met. In this modern day, we are constantly exposed to an abundance of advice from experts and those in charge on what will bring us success. However, sometimes the best way to make progress is not complicated - it’s the simple things that count. Stop deliberating, stop planning, stop creating flowcharts and just act; take action as soon as possible!
Take risks and don't hesitate to take chances; you may never know the outcome if you don't try. That's what my fellow Canadian said: "You miss a hundred percent of the shots that you don't take." Boldness is essentially a matter of being willing to go after what you want rather than settling for what comes your way. Refusing to settle and having the courage to pursue what you are aiming for - that is boldness. We often live a life of default, taking what's convenient, readily available, and foregoing further considerations. We settle for what is placed right in front of us. Boldness is often perceived as something you either are born with or not, but that's simply not accurate. What I've come to realize is that boldness isn't something so black and white; instead, it's a trait we can work on and develop within ourselves. As a matter of fact, boldness is a skill, just like any other: it needs to be practiced, improved upon and harnessed. With continual focus and commitment, you can become more adept at it.
The 10% target mindset I have developed to practice boldness is really simple, enough for anyone to try out: set a goal for yourself, then make ten attempts to reach it. Whatever it is you want out of life, dedicate yourself to making those ten attempts and you will get there. Most people never even take one chance to see if they can achieve their goals: instead, they allow themselves to become discouraged before they even begin. Unfortunately, this means that the majority of people do not attempt to make the ten tries that are often necessary for success. The purpose of the 10% target is to become comfortable with failing 90% of the time. This means familiarizing oneself with the idea that failure is an essential part of the process and thus should not be feared.
I guarantee that if you try 10 times at something, you will be successful. Here's why: One option is that you'll get the result you wanted; the other outcome is that something even better than what you were expecting will appear. The reason why many miss out on their desired job is due to not taking initiative and going for it. Going the extra step is normally what needs to be done to obtain success. Most people don't get the money they want because, simply put, they don't ask for it. To find job opportunities and pay scales, possibilities include checking out Monster.com or LinkedIn. The survey of over 160,000 people showed that 70% of those who asked for a raise got it, whilst two-thirds of those surveyed never even had the courage to ask. This demonstrates that asking for a raise can be beneficial and that making more money is achievable if requested.
I was making one point about the ten percent target; however, I now want to go back to the topic to address another point. By implementing a ten percent target, one can gain two major benefits. Firstly, it helps develop comfort in failing ninety percent of the time. Secondly, this helps build resilience and foster the related skill set. When it comes to being bold at a restaurant, instead of ordering off the menu like most people typically do, why not think outside of the box and order something unique and unexpected that isn't on the menu? At restaurants, I take the initiative to make my own unique combinations of ingredients. Even though this might seem bold to some, I kindly ask for what I want. Unfortunately, it still may result in my food being spat in at times! Developing the habit and confidence to ask for the small things in life can give you the tools needed to ask for the big things as well. Being comfortable in asking can help build your self-assurance and provide an advantage in pursuing larger goals. Practicing failure is essential for getting comfortable with failing 9 out of 10 times. Therefore, the best way to do so is to simply practice the activity you wish to improve in and accept that there will be occasional failures along the way. The more you repeat something, the more it becomes your new "normal". Like how physical training shapes and strengthens the body, repeated mental practices can also make your brain bold. Thanks for this beautiful picture that helps us to visualize and therefore aim for our boldness.
Everybody here should write down anything they truly want in life, and then make ten attempts at reaching it. Embracing the 10% target and committing to ten attempts is key - this will ensure that you're actively chasing what you want rather than settling for what's available to you. Success and failure are both part of life, no matter our experiences. Despite my own experiences in the past, what really matters is how I continue to strive and grow from whatever obstacle is put before me. I'm living proof that when you pursue what you want, rather than settling for what is easily attainable, your happiness and satisfaction with life will be dramatically increased. The ten percent target is one thing I know for sure – it works every single time. Whether you get exactly what you want or something even better, you will always get what was meant for you. I may not have been the most attractive, the quickest or the brightest student, but still I achieved great success. I became a best-selling author, sold companies for millions as an entrepreneur, co-founded a breast cancer charity which raises thousands of dollars annually - all due to failing 90% of time. Failing can be a path to success. It is possible to achieve success by not pursuing only what we want, but by accepting and leveraging the opportunities that come our way. Thank you for ever failing and then trying again!
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/