Which decision are you not choosing to affirm? At a Leadership Conference a few months back, I asked the audience to consider this question in my opening keynote address. At the back of the room, there was an artist who had a remarkable ability to capture every word spoken by the speaker and then create stunning drawings of it. They even made a beautiful portrait of me! I acted as many public speakers typically do and thought to myself, "Wow, this is amazing! Sharing it on Facebook would be awesome!" After a mere ten minutes, my phone rang and it was one of my closest friends who is also well-known for their bluntness. "What decision are you not making, Joe?" she asked. Isn't it terrific when you hear your own phrases repeated back to you? I had been getting hints about something for a while, but I wasn't paying attention to them. However, recently it finally came to the forefront of my thoughts and I plan to share that with you very soon.
We sometimes receive subtle hints or reminders which may suggest we do something, pause more often or take action. We occasionally heed these prompts but even if we don't pay attention to them, they won't disappear. They keep coming and coming, until we get a wake-up call or our plans are disrupted. It could be something dramatic that takes place or an abrupt interruption of the course of action we had been following. If we fail to heed the warnings life throws our way, then the consequences of its steamrollers will be most severe for us. You may have gone through a situation such as being let go from your job, dealing with an illness, or having a romantic relationship end. You most likely know someone else who has faced the same issues. At the time, it seemed awful; a disorganized and gloomy situation. Yet, many people have claimed that this moment was the best thing to ever happen to them as it enabled them to meet their soulmate or alter how they were working due to taking on too much. What does it take for us to make a change that is so drastic that it feels like we are being run over by a steamroller? What if we were to really take heed of those subtle impulses and be proactive in responding to them? There is a part of us, whether we call it intuition, inner voice or gut instinct, that always knows what the right course of action is in any given situation. I would like to present some strategies for developing trust in yourself and your instincts so that you can confidently take action the next time you feel a nudge.
Every month, I usually make a trip to my hairdresser's and it seemed like Alan had been trying to move houses forever. And each time I went in, he would always inform me of another problem with his relocation process. Fortunately for him and his partner, they eventually found the house of their dreams. "I can hardly believe it" Alan complained. "The people who were supposed to buy from us have delayed the process, even though we don't have anything written down or exchanged yet. This keeps happening and I'm getting really frustrated!" I told Alan that it had been quite a while since we began this conversation, and asked him if he really thought this was the right house. He didn't respond with certainty but did comment on how attractive it was. Compared to what our instincts were telling us, logic suggested something different - hatred. So, I took a stand and declared to the other party that if an exchange date couldn't be agreed upon by mid-December then negotiations would be off. His decision was made with such assurance and confidence that I believe it initiated a shift in their plans, resulting in us not relocating to our desired home. He had the courage to make the difficult decision and call it off, even though the other party said that it would be another three or four months before anyone could do anything about it. The following day, he received a phone call from an estate agent he had contacted about a year prior. With a bit of humor, the agent asked if they were still in search of a house and when we replied yes, the agent replied that she had one that might interest them. About a month ago, they went to look at the house and decided it was their dream home. Everything went quickly from there and after only four weeks of preparation, they were able to move in. He's very happy with how everything turned out.
We will never know what the outcome would have been if we had chosen the other option, and we may never fully understand the inner motivations that led us to make our final decision. We must pay attention to what our hearts and minds are telling us; this is the most important thing we can do. The heart is indeed an element of yourself that is larger than your physical being; for this part of you knows the solutions to your questions. By trusting and acting on your core values, you are accessing a real way to harness their power. Your core values lie at the heart of every decision, every relationship and every goal that you have ever achieved; whether you were consciously aware of them or not. By being more aware of what motivates us, we can better collaborate with these forces to help ourselves. But let's just enjoy ourselves and have a good time with this. I conducted a workshop not too long ago in the vicinity of Richmond Park. I went for an early-morning walk around 7:00 in the summertime. As I ventured through the woods, I eventually came to a crossroads akin to that of Robert Frost's famous poem - where two paths diverged. I decided to take the path on the left as it seemed to be calling for an adventure of mystery, exploration and unknown. I hoped I had approximately half an hour to savor this journey. The path was wider than the other one, so that's why I chose it. You may be wondering why you would choose to take the path on the left when you only have half an hour, while the other one on the right is wide open with a clear direction and seems more secure. When looking at the two paths, what is your gut instinct telling you? Everyone is unique, so it is important to pay attention to what feelings come up for you. This can provide a clue as to what motivates and drives you. When I'm feeling okay and my inner voice is encouraging me to take action, I take a moment to reflect on my core values before making any decisions.
By asking ourselves three key questions, we can easily identify what our core values are. What is important to you should be a value; it makes sense that if something matters to you, it will be of great significance. What is important to you? Is it family, friends, team, freedom, security, adventure or making a difference? Figure out what matters the most to you. What activities give you the most enjoyment? Is there a clue in there to what motivates you? I have a deep love for skiing, though I may not be the best skier in the world. Nevertheless, what I also enjoy besides skiing itself is being in the mountains and surrounded by snow. Now, that gives me energy, connection, fun and love! My partner and I usually go skiing together, which makes a big difference to my performance. These are the fundamental beliefs that I hold dear. What frustrates you the most? We need to turn this around and ask what really bothers you. Don't deceive me by telling lies, or there will be consequences. Truth is something I highly value, and it obviously stands in stark contrast to deceit. Nowadays, many of us are unaware of the motivations that drive us, but when we gain insight into them we can make better choices for ourselves. We can ask ourselves whether a certain decision will bring us energy, joy, connection, love, freedom or whatever it is that will make our lives more fulfilling.
I recall receiving an unmistakable message from the cosmos when I chose to do something brave for me personally about 12 years ago. That experience has led me down a path of working in learning and development for most of my career. I had the ambition to become a coach. Realizing that this was the key to unlocking human potential, I knew it was the right course of action. I attended an open afternoon and found that I adored it; I realized then that coaching was my destiny. It became clear to me that this was what I wanted to do. As I was walking through Mayfair in London, I came across a Diploma course that required 3,500 pounds for a year. Not having the amount of money to pay for it, I began to walk away. But then I thought about it and decided to go back. When I returned, I signed the agreement and was surprised when they gave me four free books just for signing up that day. With my credit card in hand, I left feeling nervous but excited – so much so that when night fell, sleep would not come easily. I went into the office early the following day, despite having not gotten much sleep. At that time I was a Global Training Manager at a banking software company based in London. An email arrived informing us that our company was being taken over by an American firm, which meant all employees were required to liquidate their shares. I calculated the shares, which were not worth anything unless you had held them for around seven hundred years. I couldn't believe it when I found out I had come with a total of 3,510 pounds - no even an estimate. It was an amazing coincidence and I really appreciated it. Not all of the decisions that I have made for myself since have been without their challenges and difficulties, but if you stay true to yourself, follow your intuition and check in with your values, I can guarantee that the decisions will be right for you. Since I began my coaching business, I have taken many bold steps. Initially, I chose to join a joint venture and start a company in the Middle East - based in Dubai for five years. After that period of time, I decided to open up my own business providing executive coaching and mentoring services there.
Then one day in May of 2009, I was meditating and everything was going great. The business had taken a while to build with some obstacles along the way, but it had been successful. I had a team of coaches working with me, and there was already a pipeline of clients for the next year. On top of that, I had an amazing apartment overlooking the ocean. Suddenly in my meditation I heard a voice telling me that my work here in this place was done; it was time for me to go back home and serve the leaders in my own country. I felt as if this was more than just a gentle push; it was almost like an invitation to go back home, so I spoke with anyone who would listen. They wanted me to return, even though the weather was bad and taxes were higher - why would I leave Dubai for the UK? But it kept coming up again and again despite making no logical sense whatsoever. I kept the fact that I was considering moving back to the UK to myself since I wasn't sure, but in the end I decided to take action and five months later I returned. Just two days after settling back home, I met my partner and we have been together for six years now. It looks like life had something special planned for me and it's important for us all to learn how to put our trust in it. The decision I chose not to make was the choice to take a risk and go big. Over the past 18 months, I have been a mentor, coach and speaker as well as releasing my first book. During that time, while it has been difficult at times due to coping with Adrenal Fatigue which almost pushed me to burnout, I would not call it suffering. Ultimately though, the fatigue left me with virtually no energy. I found it difficult to make it all the way to the post box located at the corner of the street in order to post a letter, and afterwards had to take a break for three hours before being able to move again. I was aware of something that I wasn't paying attention to, and my body was trying to get me to understand that I needed to take a bigger role.
I had an approach that could potentially revolutionize the way people lead and live their lives. I declared my commitment to follow the divine impulse I felt, and with that came the realization that something greater than myself was guiding me to share a powerful message with the world. So, I took action and asked for help in getting it out there. The aftermath of this was that I had clients who wanted to be trained in my methodology, but as I didn't have an accredited program at the time they were hesitant. Nowadays, however, I do have such a program. Several of my clients have expressed interest in an online learning program that I do not currently offer. However, it is something that I am planning to develop and progress is being made on it as we speak. I'm feeling apprehensive as I put in the effort to accomplish my goals, for there is a delicate balance between fear and excitement that comes with the possibility of what could come of this. What are your intuitions telling you? Pay attention to them and don't let the pressures of life overwhelm you. Take time to assess your core values, and don't let anything stand in the way of you allowing life to take its course. It takes courage to have faith in yourself, so tap into that bravery and trust your intuition. I dare you to proceed; go ahead!
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/