It is such a pleasure to be present here. Approximately every 13 seconds, a couple in the United States is going through a break-up at this very moment. This is an alarming rate of relationship breakdowns, and can have devastating effects on the affected individuals. Many couples struggle to keep their relationship alive and the flame of love burning. On the other hand, some couples are able to sustain their connection and love for years despite all odds. The reasons behind this difference can be complex but it is important to nurture a strong bond in order to make a relationship last. Relationships that are strong and long-lasting usually have emotional responsiveness as a common factor. This means all concerned parties in the relationship should be attentive to each other's emotions and acknowledge them. Although this may seem easy and straightforward, it is not always the case. The truth is, having an understanding of the importance of emotional responsiveness is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship between couples and for singles to find that special someone. If this concept was better known as public knowledge, there would likely be fewer arguments and more successful relationships out there in the big wide world.
When emotional responsiveness is lacking in a relationship, it can be seen through many verbal and nonverbal forms of communication such as words, body language, facial expressions and behavior. This lack of emotional connection often leads to feelings of loneliness, disconnection and low self-esteem. For instance, after a long day of work, your partner had returned home and greeted both you and your child with affection and warmth. When you asked your partner about their day, they said it went great. In turn, they would ask you the same question and want to know how your day has been. But when you are talking to your partner about the events of the day, they may not show any emotion or give any indication that they care about what you are saying. This can be discouraging and make you feel like what you are saying is not valued. You are left feeling uncertain if your words had any effect on them as they appear to be emotionally distant. Are they even listening and comprehending what you are saying or are they too emotionally removed from the situation to really hear you? Does any of this logic seem reminiscent of your own experiences?
Healthy emotional responsiveness involves being able to identify and regulate your emotions as well as understanding how to effectively communicate and interact with others. Here is an example of what it looks like in practice. After a long and tiring day at work, your partner has arrived home. If you enquire about their day, people such as your partner usually respond with positivity and say that it went great. Responding to your inquiry about how their day had been, they explained that it was particularly taxing. "Max had to be taken out of school due to vomiting and he later woke up after a long nap crying & screaming." They had shared with them their relief upon their arrival home and confided that they were unable to complete any work for the day. You had expressed your condolences and offered to cook dinner for both of you. You were also inquiring if there was anything else you could do to help in the situation. After a long day, your partner had gratefully accepted the warm embrace of their partner, you. Your partner had expressed your appreciation and joy to be seen and heard, melting into your arms. By tackling small tasks during your day, you and your loved one can reduce stress and enjoy a sense of accomplishment as a reward. Completing these challenges also helps to keep you motivated and focused on higher priorities. In this situation, your partner comes home and you pay attention to how they are feeling. They had taken an interest in what kind of day you have had and want to understand where you stand. Showing vulnerability to your partner can make them feel closer to you which can lead to a stronger relationship. Your partner should prioritize you and address your needs, instead of treating you just like any other caregiver for your son named Max.
Staying connected to your partner is a crucial key to a fulfilling relationship which can better yet result in better intimacy. It just goes to show one, connection leads not just to improved communication but also more enjoyable sexual experiences. Instead of being in a state of conflict with your partner, would it not be amazing if you could have really satisfying and enjoyable sexual intimacy and cherish other treasured memories too? It would certainly make for a much more enjoyable situation. According to Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy, emotional responsiveness requires three major parts to it: empathy, acceptance and validation. Reliability, also known as accessibility, is the top priority when it comes to finding and having a helpful partner. "Are you available when I need you? Are you responsive to my calls and requests? Can I count on you to be there whenever I require your assistance?" Staying responsive and being there in both the good and bad times is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. It is essential to celebrate the joyful moments together and support each other during the challenging ones. Good trait number three is engagement, which is all about assessing the priority you give to someone and the value they bring to you. It is thus essential that your interactions demonstrate this importance and make them feel appreciated. How you handle and react to your partner's emotions can be the difference between a successful and unsuccessful relationship. Showing sympathetic understanding to their feelings is crucial for building trust and having a strong bond. If people put more emphasis on emotional responsiveness rather than physical appearance or financial stability when choosing a partner, there would be fewer breakups. Quite honestly, this is an important factor to consider for a successful relationship. It is interesting to think about what would happen if our friend Robert wrote the following statement on his Bumble profile. It could potentially be a key factor in determining the success of his partnerships. "Even twenty years from now, when both of us may have changed physically and emotionally, I still promise to show you affection, make you feel attractive, and pay attention to the details of your day." Had I seen the profile, I would have chosen to swipe right and match with that person.
Many people have experienced a lack of emotional connection and understanding in their childhood, which can impact their ability to form strong relationships with partners in adulthood. Consequently, they may struggle to find someone that can provide the desired level of responsiveness. You may be wondering how this situation came to be. That is a valid question and the answer can help us understand our current circumstances better. René Descartes, an influential philosopher in the 17th century, argued that the mind and body are two distinct entities of the human being that exist independently of each other. Consequently, Western thought has tended to give greater importance to feelings than to emotions. The emphasis shifted to the realm of thoughts and logic, prioritizing the mind over emotion and feelings. Such an approach has become more prevalent in our society ever since, and thanks to, the Age of Enlightenment. It is not uncommon to hear people talking about how "needy" someone is, or worrying that they might put someone off by "being too needy". Neediness is seen as a negative characteristic, but it is important to understand the context and situation in order to make an informed judgement. Through our own culture, we have been taught to prioritize logic and materialism, while disregarding emotions and individual needs. We have been taught to value independence in this manner, however the social reality is that our success relies on the support of one another. We cannot achieve our full potential without working together as a cohesive unit. Attachment theory and neuroscience suggest that humans have an innate need for companionship in order to be emotionally healthy. We are biologically programmed to form and maintain relationships, with our ability and our partners' ability to respond positively to each other's needs and feelings being crucial for a positive connection.
A lot of people are still having difficulty in forming or sustaining healthy relationships. This may be due to an inability to express emotions & feelings and therefore respond appropriately to their partners. If emotional responsiveness is a key characteristic of healthy relationships, it could explain why many people are struggling. The first of the common blocks to an effective relationship is thinking that your partner is an adult mature enough to not need any emotional support. However, this could put a strain on the relationship. Feeling overburdened with work or anxiety can also make it hard to be emotionally or physically present for your partner. Of course, this second block is a reminder to take some time for yourself and rekindle your connection with those closest to you. Do you find yourself more preoccupied with your phone than with your partner? This could be an indication that you have lost touch in the relationship and are feeling disconnected. The third block often reflects how a person may have felt overwhelmed or invaded by their parent during childhood. This can lead to a fear of connection or wanting to flee in similar situations. It is important to be there for someone else and learn how to cope with these difficult emotions in healthy ways. Finally, the fourth and final block for emotionally responsive relationships, can involve feeling disconnected from your own needs and desires. It is important to remain mindful and not let those feelings overwhelm you. It is important to understand your partner's feelings and needs, and respond accordingly. Your previous experiences & conditioning can affect how you deal with such situations, so try to think objectively instead of basing your responses on past occurrences. Experiencing emotional blocks can be frustrating, but there are things you can do to try and reduce the chances of them happening. Identifying what causes them in the first place can help, such as getting enough sleep or exercise, taking breaks throughout the day, listening to music or brainstorming ideas with others.
Overcoming blocks in your relationships can be tough, but with the right tools you can get through it. Here are four powerful tools that you can use to help you achieve this. Having a strong relationship with just about anybody, however complicated, requires an emotional commitment from both parties. Identify the most integral aspect of your current or future connection and make sure you stay committed to being emotionally responsive. Additionally, strive to remove anything that may hinder you from engaging fully in this commitment. It is important to take some time for yourself if your stress levels are making it difficult to be emotionally available for your partner. Take steps to focus on reducing your stress and reconnecting with yourself spiritually so that you can show up fully for them. If you experienced an overwhelming, engulfing or invasive relationship with your parents growing up, then it is important to seek out the help of a coach or therapist in order to heal those lingering wounds and be more emotionally responsive to your partner. Taking time to reflect throughout the day can help you understand how you are feeling emotionally. Simply take a moment and ask yourself, “How do I feel right now? What emotions am I experiencing today?” When you have faith in your own emotions and decisions, it leads to respecting and understanding the emotions and requirements of other people. This can result in a better sense of empathy towards each other.
Between the United States of America and Canada, our nations are currently facing a multitude of issues, all on the environmental, political and social fronts. Even though some of my fellow speakers and audience members can agree with me that the United States is known worldwide for its spheres of influence. This situation is rather dire and requires more and more urgent attention by the moment. But by recognizing the importance of "we" over "I", we are currently prioritizing our skills & emotional intelligence to not only take care of our own selves, but also of those who are close to us and our communities. This epiphany means that we must be mindful of our loved ones' health and wellbeing; as well as the hearts of both individuals and people at large. Famously, Mother Teresa even said one time that the best way to make the world a better place is to simply start by showing love and kindness towards your family at home. By taking care of our family we can radiate this peace and positivity out into the world one beloved person at a time, making it a more harmonious place for everyone and world peace a reality likewise. You are welcome for my spoken words of wisdom, just as I thank you for your nightly attendance.
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/