Do you agree that love and family are among the most essential aspects of life? I'm sure your answer is a resounding "Yes!" Since I was young, the idea of being a mother and having children has been something that I have always longed for. I was so enthusiastic about caring for others that I even tried it out on my younger brothers. It may seem strange, but that's how eager I was to become a mother! At the age of 19, I experienced my first taste of romance. Driven by powerful emotions, we stayed together for three years before eventually deciding to tie the knot. Nonetheless, our marriage was short-lived and ended in divorce two years later. At the age of 28, while I was in the middle of my PhD, I began to feel yet another strong urge to start a family - not just an abstract desire, but a tangible need. This prompted me to take some time away from my studies and focus on something else for awhile. I ventured solo through India and Nepal, conquering my trepidations as I went. While there, I experienced the thrill of rafting on one of Nepal's most picturesque rivers. Due to the cortisol rush, I tumbled out of the vessel while navigating the initial rapid. Unfortunately, I was not aware that the depth of water was quite shallow. As I uttered my last prayer to God regardless, I was amazed to feel a powerful hand lifting me out of the water. I had the pleasure of meeting a delightful Nepali man with the warmest, most beaming eyes I have ever seen. His hand was firmly in mine as we shook. As far as I was concerned, he had saved my life. After a two-year courtship, we tied the knot and were blessed with two beautiful children in the following years. But of course, our marriage ended up in divorce after six years.
Greetings, my name is Liat and I am a biologist. As one of the 200,000 single mothers in Israel, I am part of an incredibly strong community. In Israel, approximately one out of every three couples end their marriage in divorce, while the rate is even higher in other Western countries with nearly half of all couples splitting up. Since the 1970s, there has been a dramatic rise in divorce rates around the world and a decrease in marriage rates. This has resulted in an increase of single-parent households daily. What has happened to us and our dream of living happily ever after? Do we have a biological predisposition towards enduring love? What impact will the changing trends have on love and family dynamics in the future, and how will they shape our social structures? These inquiries are of the utmost significance and must be addressed. We often have a rather hard time understanding the immense power of evolution that has been at work for four billion years, creating all that we are today. Our human-centric way of thinking doesn't allow us to truly comprehend this grand phenomenon. Love was not something we created; rather, it is a gift that has been passed down through generations. The solutions to all these captivating queries exist in our biology, and more particularly, in our genetic makeup.
As Richard Dawkins has astutely observed, we humans and all other animals on Earth are effectively reproduction machines created unwittingly by the self-serving molecules known as genes so that they can be transmitted from generation to generation. Living creatures are designed to ensure the highest degree of genetic diversity in their offspring through mating with multiple partners over the course of their lives. Our genes are determined to remain here for hundreds of thousands of years, even after all of us have perished into dust. The odds of survival for our genes are improved by whatever increases their longevity, and this remarkable outcome of 500 million years of evolution has been deeply imprinted in our minds. From the genes' point of view, it isn't wise to have a monogamous relationship since there won't be any variety in terms of passing down genetic material. Why settle for just one partner when you can have multiple? 95% of all species on Earth use a reproductive strategy of either polygamy or polygyny, where males compete to fertilize as numerous females as possible and the female takes sole responsibility for raising their offspring. This is the predominant means of reproduction found on our planet. A partnership between one male and one female that results in offspring being raised together is a highly unusual occurrence in the natural world, known as monogamy. Approximately 5% of mammals and a considerable number of birds are known to practice monogamy. It is the environment that influences the requirements of offspring, leading to a monogamous lifestyle. When environmental conditions are tough and there is an abundance of predators, monogamy can often be observed. Without daddy barn owl remaining to look after the eggs while mommy went in search of sustenance, the chicks would have been doomed. The father, being monogamous, was able to form a connection with the female and display maternal behavior in order to care for their young. Do we have a gene that is specifically responsible for monogamy? Is there a so-called "monogamy gene" and, if so, do we possess it?
To answer this inquiry, scientists have conducted an analysis of the genomes between monogamous and polygamous species of the same type. As an example, they looked at the DNA of a prairie vole, which is known for its commitment to one partner, and compared it to that of its cousin, the montane vole which has multiple mates. It is remarkable that a single alteration in the regulatory region of one gene can result in such drastic changes as transforming the brain and behavior of monogamist voles to become more maternal. This gene's expression of the love hormone receptor is notably higher in the brain of monogamous prairie voles compared to other species. The oxytocin family of love hormones is a group of hormones that are secreted from the antiquated, limbic, emotional portions of our brain. Whenever we gaze into each other's eyes, when our lips meet, when we embrace, when sweet words are spoken between us, when we smile and giggle or even during intimate moments and climaxes, a certain feeling of release is experienced. This hormone is responsible for creating strong connections and relationships between species, which has remained remarkably consistent throughout the process of evolution from worms to humans. The greatest concentration of this hormone can be located in the bloodstream of a female who is giving birth. The production of this hormone will lead to the start of labour, facilitate breastfeeding and bring about maternal behavior, thus creating a powerful bond between mother and child. Recently, researchers from the Weizmann Institute have demonstrated that the brain region responsible for maternal behavior in mice is larger in female brains than male brains, and can even double in size during labour to support greater maternal care, with its associated reward responses. This explains why we feel so attached to our offspring - it's hard-wired into us! The brains of both sexes in monogamous creatures are alike, with the male brain resembling the female one. Daddy is starting to take on some of Mommy's characteristics. Now the question is, what about us humans and our dads? Do they have the same monogamous gene?
In order to answer this question, scientists from Sweden examined the conserved love hormone receptors in 500 male, Swedish twin men. The genomes of the two groups were compared, with an intriguing result: men whose wives had scored them highly in terms of their relationship exhibited a variation in the regulatory area of a certain gene compared to those who were rated lower. Interestingly, there was a significant disparity between men when the results were examined. This exam can be obtained for a cost of $100. As a single female geneticist, I no longer squander my energy on countless dates - something I feel compelled to mention. I now request for saliva and blood samples, which I would use to conduct my own tests. Ideally, I would request a brain segmentation, however I understand that this could be difficult for the relationship in the future. Monogamy may be a deep-seated trait in our genetic makeup, however it is important to note that this type of partnership found in nature does not necessarily result in the classic "happily ever after" story we often imagine. Since the 1980s, DNA testing for parenthood has become more widespread, and genetic studies of these organisms have uncovered a world of infidelity across the global one. An example of this is the romantic prairie voles, which usually stay together as a couple. If one of them is taken away from the other, the remaining vole experiences depression. Despite this, genetic testing has revealed that 25% of their litter does not share any DNA with its father. Research into the behavior of monogamous pigeons revealed that they only remain together through the breeding season, yet 30% of eggs produced do not share DNA with the father. This implies that while there is a commitment to their partner, they will still take advantage of any opportunity to cheat. Once breeding is over, so too is their relationship, and they part ways. Serial monogamy, also known as paired-project partnerships, is a phenomenon that occurs in only 12 out of 8 million species on Earth. These creatures form long-lasting pair bonds and exhibit what we may refer to as true love - a rarity among the animal kingdom, with only 0.0001% of all species, mostly birds, exhibiting such an affinity for each other.
Genetic variation is always the deciding factor; genes are the ultimate victors. The famous Coolidge effect is the term coined to describe the strong neuronal wiring and imprinted genes in our brain that allow for a seemingly endless swinging between couples. The wiring in the brain produces more of a dopamine rush and heightened pleasure when having an orgasm with someone new, however it tends to be less intense when engaging in intercourse or having an orgasm with a familiar partner. The power of our genes is evident in the fact that the brain is more stimulated and rewarded by something new when it comes to sex. This strong wiring lies at the heart of human infidelity, sexual fantasies, and pornography. Without this effect, we would not be able to recognize even the internet as we know it today. Why is the Coolidge effect more pronounced in males than females, given that it has been demonstrated in both genders? The likely answer lies in testosterone, as this hormone amplifies its effects. Males must rely solely on the female to ensure that their genes are transmitted, without any means of confirming if the resulting children are truly their own due to the lack of DNA testing. This serves as a starting point for the conflict between genders which has ensued. point for the conflict between genders which has ensued. In order to ensure that his genes will be passed on, the male in a disadvantaged position has two possible courses of action. One approach to maximize the chances of successful reproduction is to ensure that his sperm is dispersed extensively while at the same time preventing other males from mating with the females he has chosen. An alternative to forming one pair-bond is mate-guarding, which involves protecting the female from any potential male suitors. This includes monitoring her movements and preventing other males from approaching her.
What is the approach then for the woman to take in selecting the optimal genes? The most advantageous option for both parties in evolutionary terms is polygamy, as evidenced by natural occurrences. Therefore, this strategy appears to be the most efficient one, especially for women. Could it be that we are, in fact, polygamists? This would make sense when considering other primates and mammalians. The Bible presents evidence that polygamy has been a part of human history for a long time, as does the fact that women have often been subjugated. So for better or for worse, this still holds true in many areas of the world today. In polygamous species, there exists a distinct social order known as the dominance hierarchy that is created by the competition between males. Scientists have observed this particular social structure present in organisms ranging from flies to mammals. Individual men in this order attempt to assert their dominance over one another, resulting in a hierarchy where the victors are seen as "alpha", while those who come up short are subordinated. The alpha gets the grand prize of all: access to resources and female mates. This is the ultimate reward for being top dog. Also, researchers from the Weizmann Institute recently demonstrated that male mice are able to create a hierarchy of dominance within 24 hours of being placed in a cage and allowed to interact.
Since ancient times, humans have been organized into a hierarchical structure, where one group of people has more power than another. There are only a small number of victors in this competition, and the majority of them tend to be male. These higher-ranking individuals usually monopolize the available resources within our group. In days gone by, both men and women were part of the monopoly. A man's rank within the Inca society was reflected in the number of women he was legally allowed to have. It is evident that the men who were at the lowest rank were obligated to take only one female companion. Another form of monogamy is apparent, one that is not driven by the evolutionary adaptation observed in prior cases, but instead by a hierarchical system of power. The Roman emperors and their religious systems were responsible for propagating the hierarchical structure of monogamy in their colonies. This was done in an attempt to weaken the power of tribes and Hammulas. The tradition has been safeguarded throughout the years by powerful religious and elite institutions, as well as the unfortunate circumstances of poverty, right up to our present day. Throughout the 20th century, a major transformation has taken place; this includes the scientific revolution, increased democratization, economic growth and the emancipation of women. All of these factors have worked together to erode the traditional hierarchical structure of society. As religion's influence weakens, biology takes its place and we observe that life-long monogamy is no longer a stable concept. Serial monogamy, polyamory and other more open relationships are beginning to become increasingly popular.
In order to keep up with the changes in our society, it is necessary to create new social and economic institutions. This is because our current system, which is outdated and antiquated, still necessitates a two-person relationship for financial success. The concept of the nuclear family, consisting of a pair-bonded couple, is now seen as the primary economic unit. This is because only those who are paired up can provide for their children more effectively in the current age. Furthermore, having a pair-bond is still essential to acquiring housing and property through debt financing from banks. Single parents often face difficulty when attempting to provide for their families, and unfortunately, divorce can lead to a family deteriorating. The economic system is already unsteady, and the increasing economic strain combined with the changes that technology brings to unemployment and job security are intensifying the social unrest. This further destabilizes the economy. But we humans possess a remarkable ability to use their imaginations. New systems must be implemented to replace the existing ones. I think we are about to witness a huge change in the way we view work, money, family and love. We need to come up with new ideas and meanings for these things. This time, however, the true catalysts of innovation will be women, enabling a new revolutionary approach. In the coming years, women will be taking up positions in political and economic institutions that were previously neglected. They will be bringing with them a female perspective to how policy is formulated and decisions are made, thus transforming our social structures.
Under the new system, I think that everyone in our community should be seen as their own economic entity, and they should all have access to a good job, housing and schooling along with protection regardless of any sexual or reproductive decisions. I am confident that this will lead to a shift in perception, recognizing the effort involved in creating and maintaining life as an economic activity, which should be taken into account when making financial calculations for the state. The traditional indicators of a country's progress are being superseded by new metrics that take into consideration the welfare and overall contentment of everyone, not just a select few. This will pave the way for a new global order that brings prosperity to all, rather than just benefiting some. Love is something that we have the power to shape and make last. It's up to us as individuals to ensure our relationships will stand the test of time. We should not feel bound by our genetic makeup. We need to comprehend and embrace the fact that we are biologically pre-programmed in certain ways. Once we accept this, we can gain a better understanding of how love functions and teach ourselves as well as our kids the ways to build a long-lasting connection. It is possible to reap the rewards of love, as it has been proven to make us healthier, happier and more successful. The effort put into loving relationships is worthwhile. As a final thought, let us take inspiration from the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi: that world peace will finally become a reality once love and charity have overpowered hate and greed. Thank you for hearing me out.
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/