On Healthy Relationships 143

On Healthy Relationships 143

Chi Nguyen ·

Throughout my extensive experience as an educator and school administrator, I have developed the firm belief that each and every child possesses an innate thirst for knowledge. One of the methods we employ to nurture this thirst is by fostering independence. We actively encourage every child to pursue their individual passions. For instance, within one of our classrooms, we present the question, "What do you care about?" Whatever their response may be, we affirm its validity and provide them with the opportunity to explore it further. Recent examples of such pursuits include a keen interest in large feline species such as lions, tigers, and leopards. Another student exhibited a fascination with desserts and confectionery, delving into the realm of natural sugars in order to create delectable yet health-conscious cookies. In addition, a child contemplated the concept of sustainable fashion, contemplating how we can repurpose existing materials to create new and innovative items. In order to initiate their work, the students sought out written resources, engaged in conversations, and conducted online investigations. During their online endeavors, they encountered individuals from various corners of the globe who served as a wellspring of inspiration. Wildlife biologists enlightened them about the social behaviors of big cats, professional bakers shared their cherished baking techniques, and conscientious mentors provided guidance on building upon existing successes. The students then applied the knowledge they had acquired. They honed their culinary skills, authored books on large feline species, and engaged in design projects. Ultimately, they returned to our classroom and confidently declared, "This is who I am." The ability to ascertain and proclaim our identities is truly a remarkable gift. Discovering one's true self becomes the central objective. Now, why do I bring up this notion of an identity pursuit? Allow me to reflect upon my own childhood in Kenya and Uganda. During that time, neither I nor many individuals in this room had access to the internet. Naturally, I possessed aspirations regarding my future self and desired destinations. However, the significant disparity lies in the fact that I lacked exposure to the three facets of my being.

When discussing the construction of identity in contemporary times, a paramount association arises with the internet, as children now cultivate their complete selves in the era of 2023 and beyond. Consequently, children will grow up encompassing three distinct facets, each intertwined with their digital presence. After all, children are not merely miniature adults; they possess a unique and dynamic inner world that evolves as they grow and develop. To truly support and empower a child, we must recognize and nurture their three-selves: the physical self, the intellectual self, and the emotional self. By understanding and fostering these interconnected aspects, we can provide a solid foundation for their holistic growth and development. In this blog post, we will explore how we can empower a child's three-selves and help them thrive. Over the past several months, I have collaborated with several individuals in preparation for this discourse. Remarkably, three of them constitute my identity, as they collectively epitomize who I am. Allow me to acquaint you with these disparate facets, denoting the diverse manifestations of my being. First and foremost, I stand before you today as my conscience, which serves as the essence of my existence. It encapsulates my internal comprehension of self and the aspirations I aspire to bring forth into this world. Secondly, I present myself as my social self, the persona observable by the world. This persona exhibits the emotional responses I choose to exhibit, the judiciously chosen words I articulate, and the observations I have made while traversing the captivating streets of Rome, reveling in its cultural richness. Finally, I address you as my third self: my external online presence. If you happen to be viewing this discourse through a smartphone, a device, or any other digital platform, you are witnessing the manifestation of my third self. These three selves collectively constitute the defining elements of my identity. And while the three selves of conscience, society person, and onliner may seem distinct, they are interconnected and influence one another. A child's online activities can impact their conscience and relationship with society, just as their experiences in the offline world can shape their online behavior. Therefore, fostering a harmonious balance among these three selves is vital.

Of course, other selves for children could also include those of physique, intellect, and emotions. The physical self lays the groundwork for a child's overall well-being. Proper nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate sleep are essential for their physical growth and energy levels. Encouraging a healthy and active lifestyle not only enhances their physical health but also instills discipline and self-care habits. Engaging children in outdoor activities, sports, and creative play allows them to develop gross and fine motor skills while fostering a sense of adventure and exploration. A child's intellectual self is driven by curiosity, a thirst for knowledge, and a desire to make sense of the world around them. As caregivers, we can provide an environment that stimulates their intellectual growth. Reading aloud, storytelling, and exposing children to a wide range of books and educational resources can ignite their imagination and fuel their love for learning. Encouraging critical thinking, problem-solving, and asking questions helps them develop a strong intellectual foundation. Engaging in age-appropriate puzzles, games, and educational activities can also sharpen their cognitive abilities while making learning enjoyable. Emotional well-being is a vital aspect of a child's development. Understanding and expressing emotions in a healthy manner are skills that can benefit them throughout their lives. As caregivers, we play a crucial role in supporting their emotional self. Creating a safe and nurturing environment where children feel heard, valued, and loved fosters emotional security. Actively listening to their concerns, validating their feelings, and teaching them empathy and compassion helps them develop emotional intelligence. Encouraging them to express themselves through art, music, or journaling can be therapeutic and aid in self-discovery. Empowering a child's three-selves involves finding a harmonious balance among these aspects. It is crucial not to neglect any one of them, as they are interconnected and influence each other. For example, physical activity can enhance cognitive functioning, and emotional well-being positively impacts both physical and intellectual growth. Finding activities that integrate all three-selves, such as team sports, creative projects, or nature exploration, can provide a holistic approach to empowerment. Empowerment also involves nurturing a child's independence and agency. Allowing them age-appropriate responsibilities and involving them in decision-making processes fosters a sense of ownership and self-confidence. Encouraging them to pursue their interests and passions, even if they differ from our own, helps them develop a strong sense of self and purpose.

As the head of the school, I have witnessed a significant acceleration in the importance of technology. In March 2020, my community experienced a swift transition during the initial COVID-19 lockdown. When our spring break concluded two weeks later, our families had dispersed across the globe. Some returned to their home countries, while others relocated to different states, away from New York City. Despite these circumstances, our school successfully continued its operations by swiftly implementing a new online educational system. Those two weeks proved to be immensely valuable, resembling a decade's worth of professional development for our teachers. We had been gradually progressing towards an enhanced student learning experience through the utilization of educational applications. However, rather than encountering resistance and progressing at a sluggish pace, we were compelled to rapidly adapt and make significant strides in our approach. I wish to refrain from characterizing online learning as an impeccable solution. In reality, when students venture into the online realm, they may come across unforeseen challenges such as violent online communities, the prevalence of fake news, or individuals presenting seemingly flawless lives. Moreover, they may encounter individuals who appear to lead perfect lives without sharing the inherent human struggles. As professionals in the field of education, many of us have confronted our reservations regarding technology. However, we have shifted our focus from questioning the purpose of technology to contemplating how we can utilize it to foster the greater good. It is imperative that we prepare our children for the promising future that lies ahead, rather than dwelling on the past. Today, it is imperative to pay tribute to the inherent self, the core, the conscious mind, and the spirit. The self encompasses the comprehension of right and wrong, as well as values and morals. It is within this realm that a robust foundation is constructed, enabling children to grasp the concepts of human connection and personal identity. Consequently, the development of identity should occur primarily between the first and third selves, rather than allowing the online presence, represented by the third self, to dictate one's sense of self. As children progress alongside advancing technology, they will encounter diverse individuals from various corners of the globe, some genuine and others deceitful. If children possess introspection and emotional security, they will navigate through these three domains of self with greater ease. They will acknowledge that their intrinsic worth, power, and uniqueness are unalterable and not subject to negotiation.

Please allow me a moment, if you will, as I delve into the topic of "The Boy Who Loved Sustainable Fashion." I am intimately familiar with this young individual, as he happens to be my son, EJ, who is currently 12 years old. His affinity for fashion has been evident for as long as I can recall. He possesses a genuine passion for exploring the historical aspects of clothing, whether it be through perusing Vogue, attending museum exhibitions, or engaging with fashion blogs. Desiring to share his creations with friends and family across the globe, our son expressed his interest in creating a social media account. However, those acquainted with the realm of technology understand that platforms such as TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram can be daunting spaces. Consequently, my spouse and I were hesitant and apprehensive. We feared the potential ramifications, concerned that belligerent or ignorant individuals on the internet might dampen the enchantment surrounding our son's blossoming identity. Instructing a child on the usage of social media bears resemblance to teaching them road safety; we must guide them through the necessary steps, enlightening them on what to watch out for and how to identify danger. This approach empowers them to navigate these platforms safely and responsibly. With EJ, we sat down and imparted the following words: "On this platform, you will showcase your work and receive feedback from others. Some individuals will appreciate your designs, while others may struggle to comprehend them. Criticism will range from constructive to merely spiteful. Nevertheless, throughout this journey, it is crucial that you remain steadfast in your understanding of your own unique identity. There is only one individual like you, and your individuality is non-negotiable. Embrace your authentic self as you mature." Once the opportune moment arrived, we proceeded to establish an account for him, granting him the means to share his creations with friends and family. Now, four years later, we reflect upon our experiences. In hindsight, our initial concerns proved exaggerated. Our son has demonstrated remarkable intelligence and adeptness in utilizing technology judiciously and selectively, employing it when necessary.

In conclusion, empowering a child's three-selves involves recognizing and nurturing their physical, intellectual, and emotional aspects. By providing a supportive environment that encourages a healthy lifestyle, intellectual curiosity, and emotional well-being, we lay the groundwork for their holistic growth and development. Balancing these three-selves and fostering independence and agency allows children to flourish and become confident, well-rounded individuals. As caregivers, educators, and mentors, we have the power to empower children and set them on a path to success and fulfillment. Today, technology is both awe-inspiring and alarming. Nevertheless, its presence is undeniable and will significantly shape the outcomes for future generations. The narrative of education in the 20th century revolved around prioritizing efficiency, control, and conformity above all else. In an increasingly interconnected world such as ours, nurturing a child's three selves (their conscience, their place in society, and their inner online youth) is essential to their holistic development. By fostering a harmonious balance among these aspects, we empower children to make ethical choices, engage responsibly with society, and navigate the digital landscape with integrity. As caregivers, we have the opportunity to guide children towards becoming empathetic, responsible, and compassionate individuals both offline and online, ensuring their well-being and preparing them for the challenges and opportunities of the future. Teaching was primarily focused on generating individuals who were faster, better, and stronger, exemplified by the prevalent employment of ubiquitous multiple-choice assessments. Throughout this journey, we have relegated the importance of self-discovery. What prospects does the 21st century offer us in this regard? This new era places the authentic self as the paramount tool for survival, fostering an environment where the first self, the second self, and the third self coexist harmoniously. It is crucial to recognize that these aspects of self are non-negotiable. And so, let us embrace our role as guides and mentors, providing children with the tools to navigate their inner selves, foster positive relationships, and make informed decisions online. By empowering the three selves, we empower children to become well-rounded individuals capable of embracing their unique identities while engaging responsibly with the world around them. Thank you for embracing the selves of children, and especially to my favorite city of Rome.

See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/

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