On Healthy Relationships 112

On Healthy Relationships 112

Chi Nguyen ·

After an hour of throwing feces against the wall, the first monkey stopped exhausted and asked, "What if we can't get any of it to stick?" To which the second replied, "I don't know, should we try out mine next?" The story I told was funny, and what I want you to take away from it is that my sense of humor is incredible! Living curiously and ambitiously are two paths that I have explored. A shift in this perspective has gotten me to where I am today, both personally and professionally. Therefore, exploring the idea of living both curiously and ambitiously can be fruitful for one's Journeys. I've stuttered since I was an adult, and now I'm a stand-up comedian named Drew Lynch. My stutter has been with me almost my whole life. At an early age, all I ever wanted was to become an actor and my ambition drove me to ride the city bus by myself when I was only 11 years old in Las Vegas. To pursue my dream, I enrolled in a performing arts school. I had been putting in a lot of hard work: reading works of Neil Simon, Tennessee Williams and Shakespeare as part of my daily commute. All the effort was worth it when I received the lead role of Oompa Loompa in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - my first play! Charlie may be a key figure, but without workers, the factory won't be able to operate. So it is important to acknowledge that everyone plays a role; I did as the lead Oompa Loompa. I was accepted into the competitive Las Vegas Academy, a performing arts high school, after finishing middle school. During my time there I studied musical theater tap and taught myself piano. Surprisingly, even though I am married to a woman, my boyfriend is included in this as well. After graduating from high school, I moved to Los Angeles with a goal in mind: getting a night job working the door of a comedy club so I could use my days for securing acting jobs. Let's stay focused! In my inaugural year of residing in La, I had an incredible run as everything fell into place. My agent and I were working on projects with Disney, as well as mulling over some promising television options - it was all going exactly to plan!

But one day, the Comedy Club was sponsoring a pickup softball game and so I decided to try out my skills at shortstop, so I went and joined in the fun. I was in the game fielding a grounder when, unexpectedly, it popped up and hit me in the throat. As a result of the impact I fell back, hitting my head hard on the ground. That night, not knowing anything about concussions, I went to sleep. When I woke up the next day though, I found that I had started stuttering. My situation was so grave that I had to be taken straight to the hospital, with experts from all corners of the world coming to analyze my case. It was initially thought that the effects from my severe concussion - such as my changed speech - were likely to be permanent. However, it was eventually concluded that these changes would only be temporary, and I could expect a full recovery within a few weeks. My friends started to distance themselves and my parents wanted me to move back home after a few weeks of my voice not healing so I couldn't go on auditions and it seemed like rock bottom. Then, one day in the mail, I received my hospital bill - a sign that something was coming, for better or for worse. Rock bottom can be difficult to experience. It’s often a feeling that comes from reaching the lowest of lows, leaving little hope for the future. Nevertheless, although it may be gloomy and dark at times, there is always a way forward - and that’s what makes rock bottom such an inspirational moment.

Feeling embarrassed, humiliated, and isolated, I was supposed to be a taken-seriously actor yet I've become a joke. This chaos wasn't ever part of the plan, and to make matters worse the door for acting has been shut tight. Sometimes its funny to watch someone try to open a door that clearly says 'pull' when they have pushed it instead. In that moment, you can really figure out who someone is - whether they get angry and blame the door for not going the way they wanted, or if they realize their mistake and laugh at themselves. That was what I had been missing - to be able to laugh at myself. I became so trapped by this obstacle that I failed to notice its weight slowly resist my progress. Oblivious to the effect it had, I unintentionally turned into something immovable. Rather than screaming and demanding that the door open for me, I shifted my focus to a more curious outlook. I wondered: what if instead of trying to force open this one door, I went and knocked on another? What if, instead of trying to conceal my stutter during interactions, I used comedy to genuinely bring balance to the situation in the wake of a tragedy? Maybe then I could laugh at it out in the open. Going on first dates and going to drive-throughs can be a challenge when your voice is not what people are expecting. Joking with people about it, I've often pondered what it would be like if our GPS's had my own distinctive voice. I'm really appreciative of the fact that you're taking the initiative to get involved in your own learning. It demonstrates that you understand the importance of proactively engaging with the material and not just passively absorbing it. This kind of drive and determination is essential for achieving success in anything. I saw that as I no longer had to shoulder the weight of my situation, people around me began to feel more relieved.

Suddenly, I began to view this unfortunate accident as an unexpected gift. It seemed like it had happened for a reason and my outlook towards it had shifted drastically. Opportunities for professional development became available, once again showing the abundance of possibilities. Not long after my injury, I was discovered by Bo Burnham and asked to open on his theater tour, due to my success in a local comedy contest. The video of that set was what led him to reach out. Colleges all over the country began to request me, impacting my daily life in new ways. My efforts finally paid off as I was selected for America's Got Talent, after which my life was put back on track! From the hard work and dedication I had put in, it all came together and it truly felt amazing. Ambition leading me, I determined to win the show. No less than victory would do. The last night came to a close with it being just me and one other contestant. As the winner was about to be announced, I noticed that I was close to having my dedication and effort be acknowledged for all of the hard work that I had put in. I stumbled and then lost my grip on the situation. Despite having the intention of succeeding, it seemed as though I could not hold onto my chance for success. Another door closed, serving as a reminder that I wasn't good enough for the chance I had to prove myself - yet another missed opportunity.

We all know the old adage about throwing something against the wall until it sticks, but I prefer to look at monkeys - specifically, those we were talking about earlier - in a more playful way. The underlying message of my adaptation is that we should take a lighthearted approach when dealing with obstacles. The first monkey, who was adamant on getting the feces to stick, symbolizes Drive – an ambition that is determined to reach its destination. This monkey stands for determination and constantly pushes towards the goal. The second monkey represents curiosity - adventurous and keen to explore something new. Their idea to try something else reflects their willingness to venture outside of their comfort zone and take control of the journey. Destination and Journey may seem to be opposites, but they're actually working together. They help each other to overcome any challenges that come their way, so they can continue making progress in their travels. Together, Monkeys and these two concepts are a powerful team as they navigate through life. Our goals often appear to be closed off to us, like a sign saying 'Road Closed'. But what if we accept the detour as the route - never knowing there was an original one? That way, we would just see this as part of our journey instead. The key difference between the two monkeys is how they accept blocks as directions rather than obstacles: one monkey may take the sign at face value, while the other will recognize it as a guidepost. So don't be deterred by what is written, but instead consider what it means. A sign is only a sign in the end.

The day I lost America's Got Talent was a reminder of my ambition's limitations and unfortunately, another example of history repeating itself. Even though I had been pushing hard to the finish line, this time I simply did not have what it took to make it over. For me, the sensation of having something important gone was a reminder of a familiar ache. I ask questions rather than demand answers to why something didn't go the way I wanted it to go. How can it be that everything was done correctly and still ended up being unsuccessful? The answer is simple - it didn't go "wrong" per se, just differently from what I had envisioned. We are often led to believe that if we can't accomplish the goals we set for ourselves exactly as we intended, then it is a failure. However, I'm grateful that it did not turn out this way because it propelled me to have my next thoughts and continue pushing forward. I actually grew my audience on YouTube and not America's Got Talent, contrary to what people think. When I completed my time on AGT, I had gained a huge 80 000 subscribers - which is an impressive amount! I didn't plan this time to arrive at the impressive number of over two million, unlike before where I formulated calculations to reach a destined amount. I chose to act on my instinct rather than reason and decided based on what I desired in the moment. Not allowing myself to be governed by logic or rationale, I embraced my opposition, making decisions solely on emotion.

All I knew was that my knowledge on the subject of vlogging was rather limited: despite this, I had bought expensive cameras, as well as editing software which were both beyond my financial means. Vlogging with my pup Stella by my side, the concept of the show was simple: I would take a seat in front of the cameras and share details about my life. She had an excellent resting shrew face, but the captions over her head suggested she was "Throwing Shade" at me. My goal this time was personal: I wanted to experience something new every week and Vlog about it. If I was unable to do this, it meant my life had become too predictable, that my curiosity had not been stirred, and my journey become stagnant. Getting on TV was easier than I thought it would be, but I realized that staying successful does not have an endpoint. It's not about the gratification or end goal, it's about continuously doing what needs to be done. Before people believe something works, they often require evidence. This is why the "second monkey" approach is so successful. It involves providing the proof they seek before they are willing to try or invest in a new idea or concept. They accept it before doubting it, believing it without seeing evidence; and they don't resist until after the fact. Two years after launching my YouTube channel, I had achieved an incredible milestone - one million subscribers. During this time, I had some amazing and amusing experiences including dining at a Michelin star restaurant, getting stuck on a zip line in Puerto Rico, and introducing my dog to Conan. This work formula based on play was just what I needed - not only did it create opportunities for new experiences, but it also helped me refine my stand-up comedy. I was becoming more successful and creative with my work due to the jokes I incorporated into my stories about life; as a result, I was having a much more enjoyable time. I'm not here to try and persuade you to be someone other than who you are; I'm suggesting that by tapping into both your innate and learned attributes, you can unlock the depths of your extraordinary potential.

I want to share something personal with you now, after having discussed so much about my professional life. Being interrupted has never been a favorite of mine. For me, it triggers memories of the 10 years I battled with a stutter. Back then, I was made fun of and even accused of lying each time I spoke well despite my condition; no matter which way I chose, there was no winning. With the challenge of Comedy Central asking me to submit a half-hour stand-up routine, I faced the issue of heckling during the performance. As a result, it caused disruptions whenever I had to address it. I'm telling you this because one day. I consistently filmed shows that were interrupted before I could finish a full set, which is akin to tickling someone who's gassy. It's an incredibly risky gesture towards someone who stutters. I wasn't ready for the sheer magnitude of your laughter, thwarting my expectations and capturing my heart. So unexpected and strong, it brought joy no one could deny, leaving a lasting imprint in my memory. Let me just go back so I can remember; bear with me, these are 15 minutes long...some kind of criteria they have. Sorry, can we do a version where they don't laugh so I can get back on track please? Once I really wanted something and luckily, I got it; but I don't remember where I was for continuity's sake. Interestingly, a gesture like that never happened again. I yearned to unleash my inner turmoil and let them know that they'll never understand what undergoing speech therapy or consulting with various mental health professionals has been like for me. I was desperate to show them the magnitude of the pain I've endured all these years. I sought out various methods to manage my anxiety and cope with my situation, including meditation retreats, support groups, singing lessons, micro dosing acupuncture, chiropractic care and yoga. I also experimented with Tai Chi sound baths, float tanks and alternative therapies like alcohol, marijuana, life coaching services and religion; all to no avail.

However, instead of taking the interruptions seriously, I decided to have fun with it and get creative. So, I responded playfully and found a way to make the situation more enjoyable. I stayed patient, even though the footage was totally unusable. I questioned why I had such an intense reaction to it, and thought about what I could learn from the experience. A lady approached me after one of the performances and said she adored my work, but her favorite part was when I ventured away from the script. When I don't get the results that I'm hoping for, that's when it becomes clear to me - the recurring theme of my life has been, and will likely always be, that I meet my best self when things don't work out. At times, the universe has interrupted my life in ways that are both often unexpected and sometimes difficult to appreciate. However, these moments have drawn my attention to what is truly important and I now understand their value far better. I never got on Comedy Central, but my audience interactions were released on my own channel, which led to more people discovering me. If you are so determined to stick to a certain route that there is no room to take a look around and recognize what the Universe may have in store for you, then it might be time to zoom out and explore other possibilities. The notion of "monkey business" is akin to peels being thrown over the shoulder by one while they're munching away on their bananas. If Mario Kart has taught me anything, it's that following the same path can be tricky - and Bowser is definitely a jerk! No matter how hard you try, you're bound to slip up. My journey to improve my stutter has been arduous, yet rewarding in many ways.

As I have discovered, the quest for a full recovery is rarely achievable. From this experience I gained invaluable insights, relationships and stories that were ultimately more satisfying than my original intent. Good brain health can be achieved through playing soccer, something which my neurologist advised me to take up as a new hobby. I find my daily yoga practice to be a calming remedy for my nerves, with a recommendation from a friend being the impetus. These things have given me a reprieve from my mental musings, injecting me with the desire to live in the present moment. Gone are the days of panning out my life far into the future – I'm learning how to be content and embrace life as it comes. The more I've done, the less I've thought about it; Carefree in my actions and unconcerned with what outcomes may be, I have embraced the journey, embracing each moment without worrying about how it will sound. This is true freedom - just along for the ride. I was scared of this talk today because I understand that the lesson I'm teaching is something I've been against accepting - not owing to public speaking anxiety nor because of unfamiliarity with the format. Though at first hesitant, I knew for me to deliver this speech authentically meant revisiting and embracing the advice delivered. I am eager to take on this professional opportunity and explore where it leads me, both personally and professionally. My ambition is the driving force that pushed me to succeed. Mastering the balance between ambition and curiosity is a lifelong journey. Finding this equilibrium takes time, dedication, and a desire to continuously explore. Striking the right blend of dreams and exploration demands effort and patience throughout one's lifetime in order to progress. At this junction, if the mastery of your target performance is achieved - the journey itself becomes the destination. The journey is now seen to be of utmost importance in order to reach that desired result. If you're naturally ambitious, embrace the obstacles you face on your journey. Conversely, if you're easily distracted, maintain a commitment to meeting deadlines. If you need inspiration, play with one of your monkeys. If you need motivation, spank the other monkey to get back on track. Always remember that both monkeys have equally valued resources and neither should be neglected.

See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/

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