When I was asked if I wanted to do a TED talk, my first thought was: how am I going to talk about something when my strength is visuals? Motivation struck me and I thought of some inspiring quotes that hummed through my head; therefore, I decided to get up and recreate Rocky's "Eye of the Tiger" moment. I am going to try and focus my talk on the visual aspect, instead of delivering an educational lecture which may not be as engaging. A jacket will give people a certain first impression of you, which is often very significant. Therefore, it is important to be aware of what kind of image you might be creating with your choice of clothing. When you enter a room, people will observe how you look and likely have something to say about it. People often choose to cover themselves up as a way of diminishing what kind of person they are. This allows them to strip back the view of who they are and why, giving them an extra sense of control. Although my name is not Bakewell, I am much like Batman who has an assumed secret identity to maintain a separation between his public image and himself. People often judge you based on their first impressions, so it is necessary for me to keep up this divide. I am gonna give you a grand reveal now: I am heavily tattooed and have blue hair, covering my whole arm, both legs, bum, stomach and progressing down to completing my back. Do not get too excited though!
People still think of me differently, even though it should not necessarily change things. Technically, my outfit should not have made a difference to how people view me, but unfortunately it does. This is not my natural hair color either; it has changed slightly. Obviously, it did not start off like this. My nickname, Morticia, and my outfit both have led people to mistakenly assume I was Goth despite not being so; however, I had some distinct features: glasses, braces, pale complexion, and long dark hair. During my school days these characteristics were what identified me. Accepting and embracing oneself takes time but it is worth it in the end. It is not about having courage to be yourself, instead it is about feeling the worst when you are not who you truly are. My fear of not being my true self is stronger than what other people might think or say when they look at me. I have always been fascinated with mixing vintage and modern, so when I decided to pursue my interest in antique furniture, I went all in. The vintage look is something that appeals to me and I enjoy being able to combine the old with the new. Every morning I do not spend hours on my hair, instead all it takes is just a quick wrap. Despite this, I still make sure that I look presentable and put together. My clothes are the only way I express and define myself. They are the clothes that I own and keep in my wardrobe. Living with them, breathing through them, it is how I stay up to date with fashion and create my personal style. Coming out as yourself, no matter what it is, is a huge step in life. I do not own jeans, so I have to go out shopping for them. My test score was satisfactory and I believe that being true to yourself is just as important and critical as anything else.
You should not worry about how the world perceives you. It is all about being who you want to be and having confidence in yourself. The reason why I became so passionate about the pinup aesthetic and burlesque, is that it is an amazing way to celebrate all types of bodies. It is a form of expression in which everyone can participate, showing appreciation for female beauty. I am seeing a lot of media messages about how "Real women have curves" and "Real women work out". Both are true for me! I am training to be a personal trainer because I want to encourage more women to lift weights without worrying about how it will make them look. There is an unfair preconception that weightlifting makes woman look masculine. So, I work out in order to show that they do not have to worry about this false misconception. Maybe I will not look like your "typical" man, but with my surfer flex style I may scare a few people. However, no need to worry - I am not planning on getting more tough-looking out anytime soon. Scared to enter the weight area and unsure of what they were supposed to do, this seemed to be the main concern amongst women looking into hiring a personal trainer. When I started telling people about becoming certified in this skill, these were some of the main feedbacks I received. No one is looking at you in the weight area, they are too busy doing their own thing. And even if someone is looking and laughing – they do not care enough to come over and offer help or show the correct way to do it.
For some, it takes courage to realize that no one else in the world can do what they can and that they must be true to themselves. The TED talk of the moment of understanding this is inspirational; it is okay to just be yourself as there are people out there like you - even if not in your town. Whenever I visit my hometown, a small and quiet town in the Northeast that is not London, my dad always says "Lady Gaga's here" even though it is not true. As I walk down Stockton High Street, people stared and point at me but that does not mean anything bad. I tend to receive overwhelmingly positive feedback from all kinds of people, especially parents whose children might have braces. Many have shared pictures exhibiting their pride in having the braces, and such images serve to inspire the youth – my social media messages are often filled with stories of daughters getting excited after seeing my photos of wearing braces proudly. I feel like my social media presence, with 11,000 followers on Instagram in particular, comes with a certain responsibility. I do not need to apologize for being me and expressing that through how I dress and act; instead, by actually doing this, I am showing others they are free to do the same. I am careful with what I post on social media, and that especially includes avoiding any pictures of me falling out of taxis, even though it did happen a couple times (but I was not actually pushed so it does not count). We are living in a different world where social connection is essential – but even so, person-to-person contact still has its place. Especially with regard to getting things done, I understand the importance of these two complementary aspects. People seem very curious about me, as they often stop to touch my arms because of my tattoos, and to run their fingers through my hair which is a different color. They are also eager to chat with me. Being one of those people in school who did not really stand out, I eventually created a persona outwardly that portrayed who I felt like inside.
People do not even ask anymore if they can have the privilege of touching me; it is a huge change for me. Every morning I do not wake up thinking "I have to live by my tattoos", but instead, the idea just randomly comes to mind when I am going through my daily routine. Freaking out when someone grabs me is understandable, especially when I look different to them. It is important to take a step back and view it from their perspective. Despite feeling scared or uncomfortable, it is important to put yourself out there and embrace being unique. Being who you want to be is a big step, but mixing the social world with the media and all of the associated attention that comes with it can be even tougher. I do not know how to do it myself though. People in places like Edinburgh have started recognizing me on Instagram, so when I am out wondering around, it is not uncommon for someone to ask to take a picture with me. The other day, I went to York and there was a woman struggling with her bag while trying to get it into the bag job. Seeing the predicament she was in, I decided to help her with the task since I am quite the muscle-woman! Everyone was surprised when I quickly grabbed the item, put it away and sat down. "Thanks very much," she said with appreciation, given how busy everybody is and scarce their time is for life outside of work. I was in York when I noticed you putting my case on the trip. The very next thing, I saw a comment from you on one of my Instagram pictures. After that, I followed you which made me realize it was really you who helped me with my case. I am so grateful for you being such a kind person, and having an online presence that gives us the opportunity to connect with each other; who knows who we could meet from social media!
The more success you have, the more likely it is that people will recognize you. As your fame grows, so will the number of connections and followers. Being genuine and authentic is especially important if you want to attract more attention and build a larger audience. Social media has many positive aspects with which we need to focus on, such as creating a great platform for staying connected with friends and family. Despite this, there is also a worrying level of negativity online around topics like body shaming. As a teenager, I was very glad that those days were behind me, with all the idiotic things I had done and the regrettable hairstyles I sported. Nowadays, for sure, I would not wish being a teen on anyone! It is important to make sure you are presenting yourself well and being mindful of your audience when sharing something online. You should ask yourself: is this appropriate for work? Would I be comfortable with my parents seeing this? If you are proud of who you are and passionate about it, that will come across in your interactions with others! Showing your authentic self is an important tool for creating meaningful relationship with the people around you. I used to have a resting beaver face, but now I have evolved to having the resting owl face. My reasoning for this switch is because owls appear significantly more annoyed than any other expressive creature. Angry owls are a search topic that can be found if you use Google. Looking at the images of these birds often occurs when typing this phrase in the search engine. I can often have an intimidating look on my face while I am out and about, even though I am just lost in my own thoughts. Though it may seem like a moody expression, it is only because my mind is wandering somewhere else. Smiling at people is something I am still continuing to learn and remember. Even when I intentionally feel like giving someone an evil, resting owl face, I come to realize it is essential to keep a warm and friendly demeanor. I am lost in my own thoughts, not even paying attention; I have been distant, and though most of my life is now on social media, I need to draw myself back and reconnect.
With my online presence and following, I have the potential to make real, tangible impacts on those I meet in life. Through receiving a lot of comments, I am able to interact with many individuals who may or may not end up as part of my offline network. Seeing you that one time of the day might have had a profound effect on just that one person - it may have made their whole day or inspired them to take on a new challenge. People often tell me that I am short, but the most common comment is about my shaved head—they wish they had the confidence to have hair like mine. Although it may look scary to shave, it will always grow back; after all, it is just hair! For some people, the realization that something is a big thing can be quite significant. Be yourself - no matter what. Even if it is something small like changing the color of your hair. There is nothing more important than embracing and being comfortable in your own skin. Not everyone will like you and that is okay because with social media, you can find people who share the same interests and values as you. No one should expect that everyone will like them, as I do not like everybody. The main point is that in life, it is essential to focus on pleasing yourself and making yourself happy. Do not just try to please everyone else; prioritize your own happiness first. Being true to yourself is the coolest thing you could ever do! When you remain authentic and real, the people who are similar to you will naturally be drawn towards you. That is what it is really all about!
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/