I've definitely had moments when entering a room full of people, and felt like I was completely out of place. It can be overwhelming looking around and feeling like I'm not where I want to be in life compared to everyone else. I've been in situations where I've felt like the odd one out, it's an uncomfortable feeling that tends to make me want to run away. Too many times, I find myself standing there surrounded by others, yet having that awkward feeling of not belonging. You may feel like you're the only one who wasn't glued to their tv watching the hit series season finale last night or didn't get hyped up by the football game approaching. You may feel like you're the only one having to balance a job and taking care of an aging parent. It can be overwhelming, but there are many people in the same situation. School and chronic illness can be overwhelming, especially when you feel like you are the only one trying to manage both. You feel sure that you're the only one who doesn't fit in, who isn't "put together" like the rest. You feel pressure to pretend to be "normal" because it's what everyone else is doing, and you hope nobody will be able to tell your unique differences.
Today, I want to share my unique story with you in order to illustrate the qualities and characteristics that set us apart. This diversity can build stronger communities and ultimately make each of us stronger. Be extraordinary, not normal! Normal is dull; break out of the ordinary and stand apart. Everyone in the world has been affected by some sort of burden, some of which can be seen and others that are still hidden. I have learned this from my own experience over the last 17 years. No matter how polished someone may seem, we never know what issues they might be struggling with; we have all experienced hardship at one point or another. Accepting myself was a process that revolved around three fundamental ideas: finding myself, finding my community, and speaking my truth. Through this journey of self-discovery and exploration, I was able to break through the barriers I had imposed upon my own identity and start to embrace being an "odd man out".
If you were to meet me at school or the mall, I'm a regular 17 year old in 11th grade. My friends are important to me and I enjoy watching movies and listening to music. Laughing at funny videos online and following my favorite youtubers and bands keeps me happy! Living with HIV my entire life, something that you wouldn't guess just by looking at me, is not a normal thing. I acquired it from my late birth mother and have been dealing with this ever since. My birth mother loved and cared for me, but her addiction made it impossible for her to provide the necessary care. Unfortunately, due to her addictions, I could not benefit from further support that she wanted to give me. At 6 weeks old, I was weighed and found to be only 3 pounds 10 ounces, so Children's Aid urgently transported me to Sick Kids Hospital for assessment by a medical team. It was clear that I was in a critical state of health. The doctors, upon conducting a chest x-ray, found that I had pneumocystis pneumonia which affects people with compromised immune systems or HIV/AIDS. Subsequent blood tests showed that I had full-blown AIDS - leading to respiratory distress in all four lobes of my lungs. The medical team at SickKids went to extreme measures in order to allow my small body to heal: they put me in a medically induced coma and I remained there for three and a half months attached to a respirator, within the neonatal intensive care unit. At six months old, I had a major milestone; for the first time, I was able to breathe on my own. Despite this accomplishment though, I was considered terminally ill due to my low weight of only 8 pounds 3 ounces. Despite that, I managed to remain fragile but alive.
Looking for a foster family that was willing to take me in for palliative care, Children's Aids began their search. My mom finally said yes after more than 200 calls and rejections, for which I am eternally grateful. My adoptive parents were told that I only had weeks to live, yet I clearly had other ideas. Despite the odds, my family showed me unconditional love, support and devotion - praying for me each day. Consequently, I was able to make a miraculous recovery and stay strong! I achieved unexpected success by achieving milestones - crawling, walking, and talking all at an early age. People have likely had many ideas about what my life and abilities would be like. However, I do not accept those assumptions without question - I challenge them. Similarly, I am sure that people have made guesses about you too - but you don't have to accept them either! The remarkable thing about the human spirit is that it is able to persevere in the face of adversity and difficulty. It is truly one of a kind and should never be underestimated.
At the age of seven, my parents broke the news that I had HIV, emphasizing that I must keep it a secret. It didn't make sense to me why I should not talk about it and so, without understanding the seriousness of it all, I shared the information with everyone. Cool may not have been the response from everyone, but when one boy learned his friend had HIV, he shrugged my condition off and quipped “Cool, I'm lactose intolerant.” Stigma is something I learned about in a difficult way. Uninformed individuals can be very harmful with their words, as they are unaware of their effects and might cause serious harm. When I was young, I was often not welcomed by neighborhood kids; even a sleepover party when I was seven. Recently, one of my friend's folks asked to provide me with disposable cutlery and plates. However, my friends had done their research and corrected their parents’ wrong assumptions.
Education is vitally important in tackling stigma: here are some facts to help inform you. HIV is a virus that can be potentially fatal if not treated; however, medical treatments can enable someone to live a normal, healthy life. It is primarily contracted through bodily fluids like blood or even at birth. Thus, taking prescribed medications to combat HIV is essential. My doctors have tested my blood and the results have shown an undetectable HIV viral load, meaning that there is no indication of HIV present in my body. Although I have not been completely cured of HIV, my condition is well managed, thereby allowing me to marry, have children and a partner without concern about transmitting the disease. Sticking to my medication routine is essential for me if I am to remain healthy, even if it can be quite difficult. Unfortunately, the medicines come with side effects that are hard for me and I would much rather have a cure. Until then, however, I will continue to take my medication. At different points throughout my life, I have experienced a variety of health outcomes - from excellent to very poor. Even when I am not at my worst, something as simple as the common cold or influenza leaves me struggling to feel better for a much longer period of time than other people. 17 years ago, I was only given a month to live after getting a feeding tube placed in my abdomen. But now, due to advances in HIV treatments, people with HIV can live well into their 70s. It is essential for everyone to be well-informed about HIV as it has been increasing in Canada, especially in people aged 15-29; despite this, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding it. Consequently, it is important we make efforts to overcome this issue.
Hundreds of youth in Canada are living with HIV, but choose to keep it a secret. Unfortunately, the secrecy can be potentially dangerous; this should not be taken lightly. My friend had to regrettably sell their home, relocating due to the unwelcoming environment of bullying and discrimination they encountered in their community. Sometimes I experience people treating me differently due to misinformation that they may have about people living with HIV, or in cases when they incorrectly assume I have it. They view me only through the lens of my diagnosed disability, not taking into account my other roles such as being a sister, student and volunteer or even as a musician and singer. They don't consider what I'm planning for myself post-graduation. Finding myself means recognizing the aspects that come together to make up who I am as a complete person, but understanding as well that everyone else is trying to do the same. What makes us unique is our individual identity, the different components of who we are.
My big family has been one of my main sources of support - there are seven biological siblings and ten kids in total. Check out this family photo! We come from various backgrounds, religions and cultures; while some of us like to listen to music or watch TV when we have free time, others may be eco-warriors or prefer partying. No matter our differences, there is one thing we all have in common; we're all from different races. Most of us have special needs that arise from either losing one or both of our birth parents, resulting in a lack of love and support from the people who should have cherished us the most: family. Our family motto is "I've got your back", which reflects how we bonded in a special way that most families don't. We all came together, needing someone to be there for us, and that's what we ended up providing for each other - a family connection based on our shared experiences. Our parents have been there for us since the moment we arrived into their care, providing us with help when it came to homework and taking us to activities and shows in our spare time. We are all grateful for the wonderful support they have given us throughout our lives. My parents have ALWAYS supported all of us; even when we made life difficult for them-they still showed their love. Their guidance inspired unity between us ten siblings, both away at school and at home during hard times. Knowing the support system that our family provides was a great comfort in those trying times.
My family may look very different than yours, but wherever you search you should be able to find people who offer support and are reliable. I discovered my personal group of friends at summer camp, yet it could have been from any organization or club in which you participate. At Camp Moomba, there was a unifying experience that brought all the campers together: HIV. Everyone was dealing with the virus in some way, so I did not need to worry about hushed conversations or speculation about why I was on medication. I'm extremely angry to know that almost 700 babies are born with HIV daily and that means 240,000 annually, despite the medicine available since before my birth preventing this. After me there have been 7.5 million more children born with HIV, when it never needed to happen. I saw the crippling effects of stigma on those with mental health issues and felt I should do more to support them. Bullying victims were especially living in fear, so I was resolute in my efforts to help. Stigma can have a hugely damaging effect on people, creating walls that lead to feelings of isolation. It also greatly impacts people's mental health, even to the point of causing death. As a society, it is essential that we create places where everyone feels safe enough to open up and be accepted without judgement.
Before the 1991-92 season, Magic Johnson shocked the world with his announcement that he had HIV. The NBA superstar refused to keep it hidden and instead chose to become a dedicated advocate for HIV/AIDS awareness. His courage and dedication saw him become a giant in this cause in addition to his achievements on the court. At the tender age of 10, I started speaking at charity fundraisers and organizations, such as Variety Village, The Teresa Group and Sick Kids Hospital. My family encouraged me to "pay it forward" and make a difference in my own way. Witnessing their philanthropic spirit motivated me to do the same. Growing up, I was often profiled by TV shows and magazines to share my experience of living with HIV. As I became more outspoken, I also used my platform to fundraise for better research surrounding the virus. Having found my voice, it felt empowering that I could contribute in this way.
One day, I received an invitation to address a large gathering of people. I was excited and nervous at the same time about speaking to such a big crowd. The North American tour of We Day is a celebration of the amazing accomplishments youth can achieve when they come together and support each other. This inspirational event is highly sought after by activists, celebrities, and others across the continent, but you can't buy a ticket - it's earned through volunteering or completing other acts of service. I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness as I realized that my HIV status was about to become public knowledge, broadcasted on the live stream in our school's main lobby for everyone to see. When I walked on stage, there were 16,500 kids in the audience. They had been expecting something normal but found out that I had HIV. Even though it was quiet initially, by the time I'd finished speaking, everyone was on their feet giving me thunderous applause as a sign of appreciation and admiration. The video of me speaking ended up online and I was surprised by the overwhelming response I received after people all over the world saw it. It encouraged me to keep going and was even better than what I had expected. My videos have been able to break down the barriers of HIV and create a safe space for individuals living with the virus. I have had people reach out to me and disclose that they are HIV positive, which showed me my content was helping in this way.
This year I've had the privilege of speaking to more than two hundred thousand youth, traveling to both Africa and Europe and sharing my story. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to share the stage with greats such as Kweku Mandela and Martin Luther King the third. Furthermore, I've had the pleasure of meeting celebrities including Selena Gomez, Shawn Mendes, and Macklemore. At sixteen, I traveled to Geneva, Switzerland, and had the honor of speaking at the UN aids gala. I was in the presence of royalty and leaders from all around the world - a humbling experience during which I realized just how powerful our voices can be. Today, with the intent to motivate you on your path, I want to share some words of encouragement. I hope that these words spur you onwards towards success in your endeavors. In order for you to find yourself, you need to determine what is truly important to you. Taking the time to think deeply about what matters most will enable you to uncover who you are and what direction your life should take. Find people who will accept all of you – both your wonderful and awful sides – within your community. Knowing that we all have these two sides, it is important to build a strong foundation of support and friendship that will stay with you no matter what. Don't be ashamed of what makes you unique; embrace it! Your story and ideas should be shared with others - stand up and show them why you're interesting. Be proud of your differences and rock them - own them, and speak your truth. Thank you for being one of a kind!
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/