Autism constitutes an enduring developmental disability characterized by an inherent deficiency in comprehending social interactions, a propensity for experiencing sensory difficulties concerning luminosity and auditory stimuli, and occasionally an absolute inability to regulate emotions, among other manifestations. Initially, such a description was presented to us, and akin to the majority of parents with autistic offspring, we adopted this understanding until our personal encounters disproved its veracity. Soon after reaching the age of one, my son, Daniel, commenced displaying a series of atypical behaviors. He commenced experiencing difficulties in recollecting previously acquired vocabulary and allocated a greater portion of his time to vacant gazes. Initially, we perceived this as mere contemplation, but it swiftly progressed into a heightened state of withdrawal. Eventually, his predominant activities involved reclining on the floor while repetitively maneuvering a toy car in front of his visage. At this stage, there was a complete absence of communication or visual engagement. Any attempt to establish contact, particularly through the utilization of his name, resulted in growls, rejection, and a resumption of his prior actions. Furthermore, he even regressed to a point where he lost the capability to produce consonant sounds and ingest solid sustenance. We were compelled to revert to pureeing all his meals and administering them with a spoon, while he remained fixated on animated programs. Additionally, he became prone to exceedingly intense and prolonged episodes of emotional turmoil, rendering any attempts at consolation futile. The distress was overwhelming, particularly when he resorted to self-inflicted harm in moments of frustration.
It constituted a clear instance of regressive autism, yet the medical practitioners reassured us and advised against undue concern. They emphasized that each child follows a unique trajectory of development, urging us to monitor the situation and consider revisiting them if apprehensions persisted in the forthcoming years. We could scarcely envision enduring another couple of years burdened by such profound uncertainty. Consequently, after protracted efforts on our part and even more subsequent months on a waiting list, we eventually gained access to a pediatrician who initiated the process of assessment and eventual diagnosis of autism. However, during the interim period, we were completely devoid of any substantive assistance. Our comprehension regarding the management of this unforeseen shift in our son's development was deficient, mirroring the uncertainty of the healthcare professionals themselves. Hence, one of the most pivotal decisions, and the only one at the time, that we had to make; entailed diverging from the conventional medical path and forging our own means to attend to our son's needs. Nevertheless, this course of action did not appear particularly sagacious at the time, as our sole resource consisted of the internet, replete with exaggerated promises of miraculous remedies, accompanied by compelling testimonials, stirring videos, and exorbitant price tags.
Where should one begin? How does one locate genuinely valuable resources amidst the prevalent marketing exaggerations? During challenging times, my spouse and I tend to heavily rely on our intuition, which, fortunately, tends to align. Hence, when we stumbled upon the discreet website of the Mifne Centre—a modest clinic situated in a northern Israeli village, specializing in the treatment of families with autistic toddlers, and even infants—we both sensed a promising prospect. Devoid of any substantive basis, our impression of this establishment compelled us to believe that it held the potential to profoundly transform our family's life. Consequently, we embarked on a diligent investigation, engaging in discussions with the clinic's representatives and seeking the opinions of individuals who had undergone their services. Ultimately, we mustered the courage to seize the opportunity and journeyed to the village of Rosh Pina, located north of Tel Aviv, where the clinic was situated. I distinctly recall a sudden surge of uncertainty during the trip, as apprehensions arose within me. Thoughts began to infiltrate my mind, questioning the existence of the clinic upon our arrival. Concerns regarding the possibility of falling victim to an elaborate marketing scam, depleting our financial resources with no recourse for alternative endeavors, briefly consumed my thoughts. However, fortuitously, these doubts were swiftly dispelled upon our arrival. To our immense relief, the clinic indeed existed, and for the subsequent three weeks, our family received dedicated treatment from their staff.
There was no apparent remarkability associated with their actions. Essentially, they engaged in a one-on-one interaction within a confined space for six hours per day. The individual undergoing therapy interacted with a therapist, and the therapist rotation occurred approximately every hour. However, they orchestrated the situation in a manner that established an environment within that space devoid of the overwhelming barrage of sensory stimuli that one would typically encounter in their daily existence. These stimuli, although seemingly ordinary to us, were perceived and interpreted in a distinct manner by him. Moreover, of significant significance, it was shielded from the inherently discreet emotional stimuli of stress that would have been directed towards him, of which we would have remained entirely oblivious. These elements encompassed our latent anticipations, disillusionments, uncertainties, apprehensions regarding the forthcoming prospects, and various concerns of similar nature. Although unspoken, they were intuitively discerned by him, causing him to be perpetually destabilized. Once the individual achieved stability, no longer succumbing to external disruptions, the therapist gained the opportunity to focus on eliciting his inherent sense of trust and his innate inclination to establish meaningful interpersonal connections, ultimately deriving satisfaction from such relationships. The aforementioned aspect played a pivotal role in eliciting a transformation within his persona. Once accomplished, the focus shifted towards expanding his capacity to withstand various stressors, allowing him to gradually allocate more time outside the confined space. This process relied on harnessing the inner strength he had been cultivating. However, such developments pertained to the future. Notwithstanding, the immediate outcomes were undeniably remarkable.
Within mere hours of his arrival, he found himself seated at a table, clutching a spoon, independently consuming solid sustenance, his countenance radiating joy. This feat was previously inconceivable. Naturally, obstacles and trials were encountered along the journey, as is customary when endeavoring to improve an individual's quality of life. Nonetheless, from that day forward, the trajectory of progress remained consistently positive. While we were present, we received comprehensive training to proficiently implement this methodology upon returning home, which we accomplished with the aid of an additional therapist well-versed in the approach. In due course, the occurrence of emotional breakdowns diminished, rendering him more composed and balanced. For the first time in our recollection, we were able to establish a profoundly meaningful connection with our son. We were informed that, approximately six months later, his speech would commence to reemerge. Subsequently, after approximately four months, he began to comprehend our verbal communication and started utilizing individual words himself. The enclosed video exemplifies the extent of his newfound engagement, a mere five months following his return from Israel at the age of two and a half. Is it a simian? No. Is it an elephant? Elephant? No. Is it a bird? No. Is it a monkey? It is, in fact, a doggie! A couple of years ago, he enrolled in a mainstream educational institution where he receives excellent care. Presently, he is a fulfilled and well-adjusted seven-year-old boy. While there exist certain challenges and difficulties, they are nowhere near the magnitude of what we were originally led to believe we would have to confront.
However, the focus of this discussion does not revolve around my son or my family. It does not involve showcasing what we perceive as our accomplishments or highlighting a supposed triumph over adversity, as that is not the essence of our experiences. Instead, our narrative poses more profound inquiries. If we adhere to the belief that autism is an enduring condition characterized by challenges related to sensory perception and emotional regulation, how can we comprehend the astonishing transformation of this young boy, within such a brief timeframe, from complete resistance towards any form of communication and complete reliance on others for fulfilling his basic necessities, to evolving into the delightful, composed, and fully engaged individual you have just witnessed? I harbor doubts regarding the assertion that Daniel has been cured of autism. In my perspective, autism represents a lifelong condition. However, it is the fundamental nature of this condition that has been misconstrued. Our prevailing understanding suggests that individuals with autism frequently experience sensory challenges and similar difficulties, leading us to assume that such aspects are inherent to or indicative of autism. Consequently, we often attribute these issues to the way in which the brains of autistic individuals are wired. Nevertheless, what if these phenomena are not intrinsic to autism itself? What if, instead, the autistic condition embodies not an inherent incapacity or disability, but rather an exceptional sensitivity in the most positive sense? This sensitivity, when fostered in a suitable environment, could potentially engender a thriving and remarkable existence, offering significant value to the broader society.
Based on my personal observations, I perceive the autistic condition as characterized by genuine altruism and idealism. Contrary to popular belief, I do not perceive autistic individuals as disconnected from their surroundings; rather, I perceive them as deeply intertwined with their environment to the extent that they often find themselves overwhelmed by it. Consequently, they require a certain level of safeguarding. As my son's inner resilience grew through the therapy we provided him, the necessity for protection diminished, revealing a heightened awareness and profound connection with his surroundings. Notably, any indication of suffering or anguish experienced by others became a source of anguish and distress for him as well. Even the depiction of sadness or anger in a narrative, be it in the form of a story or an illustration within a storybook, had a profound impact on him. We possessed a splendid book portraying the companionship between a cat and a dog, where a particular incident occurred when the cat was absent and the dog, feeling hungry, consumed the cat's food. Regrettably, we could not progress further in the narrative due to Daniel's sudden outburst of 'No!' accompanied by forcefully closing the book. We were unable to revisit the book for several weeks. His concern revolved around how the cat would feel upon returning home to an empty bowl. In the event he encountered another distressed child while walking down the street, his instinctual response was to approach that child, offering an embrace, perhaps a kiss, and reassuring them that everything would be all right. Even presently, if he observes a fellow student at school, with whom he shares a connection, appearing sad or shedding tears, he would return home and lie on his bed, plagued by worry for that child.
How should we interpret this situation? Is he merely displaying excessive sensitivity or vulnerability? Does he lack an understanding of how to maintain a proper perspective or behave appropriately in certain circumstances? Contrarily, I argue the opposite. I perceive his conduct as driven by the impulses of his heart, which prevent him from causing harm to others, even when they have harmed him. It must be profoundly disorienting, perplexing, and painful for him when this kindness is not reciprocated, and instead, he becomes the target of mockery or ridicule simply due to his slight deviation from the norm. Nevertheless, he maintains that those who engage in such behavior are not inherently bad individuals; rather, they are good people who have not yet attained their highest potential. In stark contrast, whenever he has found himself in the exceptionally rare social settings characterized by openness, unconditional acceptance, support, and positivity, we have witnessed a distinct transformation in him. A couple of years ago, we brought him to a heartfulness meditation center in India, where he seamlessly assimilated into the environment to such an extent that no one would have perceived any issues or disabilities upon observing him. It was within this nurturing context that he flourished, and perhaps, if we were willing to relinquish our apprehensions and inhibitions, we could all thrive in such an environment.
Whose predicament lies at the heart of the matter? Is it the individual on the autism spectrum, who possesses a genuine and fervent desire to exist within a realm characterized by openness, collaboration, inclusivity, mutual respect, and love? Alternatively, should the responsibility be placed upon the collective body of others, who have engendered an atmosphere permeated by fear and adversarial competition in every sphere? Is it the individual with autism, whose heightened and refined sensory abilities thrive in a tranquil setting, where they can be nurtured and harnessed for the betterment of society at large? Or is it the remaining populace, who subject themselves to intense illumination and clamorous sounds in an attempt to artificially evoke a sense of exhilaration, serving as a distraction or compensation for the perceived absence of significance in our own lives? Does the individual with autism, who harbors a sincere intention of fostering positivity and providing support to others, truly bear the responsibility? Alternatively, should the burden lie upon the collective of us, who incessantly inundate our environment with portrayals of strife and cruelty, which we habitually derive pleasure from? Additionally, we contribute our own acts of cruelty to this equation, aimed both towards one another and towards those on the autism spectrum, often failing to grasp the profound anguish it inflicts upon them.
In circumstances such as this, it is unsurprising that individuals on the autism spectrum may occasionally exhibit signs of withdrawal or isolation. This analogy brings to mind the notion of traversing a war-torn zone whenever one needs to travel, where individuals treat each other with cruelty and ruthlessness, and scenes of bloodshed, death, destruction, and mutilation are pervasive. In such an environment, there would exist a constant fear of becoming a victim of these atrocities at any given moment. How long would it take for us to resort to rocking, shaking, or developing aversions to food and other coping mechanisms in order to maintain some semblance of control over a world that has become unbearable for us? How long before our neural pathways readjust to conform to the expectations associated with having a disability? The National Autistic Society in the United Kingdom recently unveiled a concise yet impactful film, aptly titled 'Too Much Information,' which aimed to depict the everyday experiences of an autistic individual. It posed a thought-provoking question: "Could you endure more than a minute in a bustling shopping center?" The film effectively conveys the sentiment that being autistic does not equate to being ill-mannered; it signifies grappling with an overwhelming influx of sensory information. Depending on the environment we foster for an autistic child, they possess the capacity to not only thrive but also become a source of joy and inspiration, aiding us in realizing our aspirations for personal growth. Conversely, they also have the potential to be inundated, teetering on the brink of their endurance, prompting a near-complete shutdown and necessitating a level of practical care that would be entirely avoidable if we simply exercised greater mindfulness of their perceptual reality.
I perceive autism not as a mere compilation of symptoms, but as a profound condition that underlies and necessitates these symptoms when an appropriate environment is lacking. It is a state characterized by innocence, idealism, benevolence, and a willingness to prioritize the needs of others over one's own—a condition that can be likened to love. This perspective led me to establish the Transforming Autism Project, with the aim of empowering parents and caregivers of autistic children to identify and incorporate these values into their children's lives in tangible and pragmatic ways. By doing so, we provide them with the opportunity to fully realize their potential. By fostering a world where these values motivate us all, I envision a future in which many individuals who presently struggle to connect and communicate may find themselves seamlessly integrated. In fact, some may even emerge as natural and pioneering leaders of unwavering integrity, driven by an unequivocal purpose to safeguard the well-being of others, allowing their truest essence to shine through. While some may dismiss this notion as an idealistic and clichéd utopian fantasy, is it not, in reality, an innate and often disregarded ideal that resides silently within each of us? Let us endeavor to incorporate these values into our lives to the greatest extent possible, if not solely for the benefit of our autistic children. Thank you for considering both the pros and cons of being autistic.
See also: https://mygodsentangels.com/